The Answers are on the Office Wall by Paul B. Thornton
W. Clement Stone began as a shoeshine boy and became a multimillionaire. He credits his success to three words: Do It Now.
He required everyone who worked for him to write those words on index cards and post them in their work area.
The sayings and quotes business leaders post on their desk or office wall often represent a guiding principle they have followed to achieve success. Here are some of my favorites.
"Take Care of the Customer or Someone Else Will" - Sign in the office of the general manager of a small ice cream store. Change from being "boss focused" to "customer focused." Bosses are important, but customers are key. Job security is not something the company president gives you-it's something that customers provide. When customers see how motivated you are to understand their needs and provide great products and service, they continue to place orders, and that's what gives you job security.
"Be Realistic, Demand the Impossible" - Sign in the office of T. J. Rodgers, founder and CEO of Cypress Semiconductor. Remember the old advice that goals should be challenging but attainable. No one ever said, "set impossible goals." When impossible targets are set you must think of totally new and different ways of getting the job done. If you had to increase your productivity by 30% what would you do? "Pressing the pedal harder" - doing more of the same - won't get you there. An impossible demand forces you to rethink everything. Question old assumptions and methods. Quantum leaps in performance require creativity and innovation.
"Best is the Enemy of Better" - Sign on the office wall of a middle manager at Milliken Company. Change from thinking "best" to thinking "better." When you think you have the best training program, the best technology, the best anything - what happens? You get complacent. You stop questioning and trying to improve your product or service. By definition, continuous improvement is not a one-time event. To make this point, an operations director begins his weekly staffing meeting with this question: "OK, folks, what records did you set last week? If you didn't break records, you didn't improve." That challenge sends a clear message and keeps people energized and focused on improving results.
"Insanity is Hoping for Different Results, While Continuing to do the Same Thing." - Sign seen in several cubicles and manager's offices.Just "hoping" isn't enough. Change is needed. The ability to change the way you operate to match the changing needs of customers is a prerequisite for survival in the marketplace. Keep a focus on the business reasons why the change is needed. Establish a deadline to begin the new behavior. Announce publicly the change(s) you are making and why. Reward yourself after you have achieved initial success.
"There was an Important Job to be Done and Everybody was Asked to do it. Everyone was Sure Somebody Would do it. Anybody Could Have Done it. But Nobody Did." - Sign on the office wall of a middle manager at the former Hamilton Standard Division of United Technologies Corporation.Communication breakdowns cost time, effort, and money. Words like "everybody," "somebody," and "anybody" are vague and usually produce confusion. Be specific. For best results, define and get agreement on who is responsible for what actions. Sometimes it's wise to define responsibilities in writing as well as discuss them verbally.
"Benchmark the Best!" - Sign on the desk of a senior manager at a large aerospace company.Sam Walton said that he spent more time in his competitors' stores than they did. He readily admits that many of his best ideas came from benchmarking. However, just imitating the best won't put you at the head of the pack. Benchmarking starts by having the right attitude. Organizational psychologist Carla O'Dell states that you must be humble enough to admit that someone else is better at something and wise enough to learn from them.
"Successful People are the Few Who Focus in and Follow Through" - Sign in the office of Stew Leonard, Jr., President, Stew Leonard's Dairy.Focus and follow through are important ingredients of success. Lacking focus, some people don't see the target or get distracted easily. Follow through on your commitments. Remember how you felt when the repairman said he would be at your house at 9a.m., but didn't show up until 3 p.m.! Nothing impresses a customer more than someone who keeps promises.
"'There is Very Little Difference in People, But that Little Difference Makes a Big Difference. The Little Difference is Attitude. The Big Difference is Whether it is Positive or Negative' - W. Clement Stone" - Sign in the office of the former President of Security Services Company'Yes, attitude is still big. Positive people see opportunity in every situation. Negative people see doom and gloom. Positive people create energy when they describe what's possible and take action to pursue their goals.
"Practice, then Preach" - Sign in the office of a former Executive Vice President at The Travelers.Set the example. Walk the talk. When you do that you earn credibility and the opportunity to influence others.
"Childlike Qualities We Should All Keep - Curiosity, Playfulness, and Fun" - Sign in my office. The next time you're at the playground, observe the children. They are curious and approach each situation with a sense of wonder and freshness. They have no baggage or preconceived ideas. Lighten up. Have fun. Most of us aren't doing brain surgery.
Summary
What are your guiding principles? Do you have them posted on your office wall? When you visit business associates, customers, suppliers, and competitors, check out what's posted in their work areas. These nuggets of gold may give you additional ideas about how to achieve your business and career goals.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
You is the key to more sales
You" Is the Key to More Sales
Jeffrey Gitomer
Think about the way you sell and the way you present your product or service. How many times do you think you use the word we? My bet is hundreds.
How many times should you use the word we? My answer is none.
Everything you do or say is in “we” format—especially if you have a marketing department. Does the customer care about you or themselves? Obvious answer. So why do you “we-we” all over them? They don’t care about you—unless you can help them.
The key in mastering any kind of sales is switching statements about you and how great you are andwhat you do, to statements about them, and how great they are and how they will produce more and profi t more from ownership of your product or service.
Here’s the secret: Take the word we and delete it. Delete it from your slides, your literature and especially from your sales presentation. You can use I but you can’t use we.
Here’s the power: When you stop using we, you have to substitute the word you or they and say things in terms of the customer. How they win, how they benefit, how they produce, how they profit, how they will be served and how they have peace of mind.We is for selling. You is for buying.
Mandate for understanding: Go through your entire presentation, record it, listen to it actively, which means taking notes. Count the word we. I’ll bet there are plenty. Take out the we, and begin to make value statements instead of selling statements.
Here’s the reality in plain English:
1. The buyer, the prospect, the customer expects you to have knowledge of their stuff, not just your stuff. To transfer that knowledge, the prospect needs to understand and agree with your ideas, feel your passion, feel your belief and feel your sincerity beyond the hype of the sales pitch.
2. You have to know their industry, not just your product.
3. You have to know their business, not just your product.
4. You have to know what’s new, what’s next and not just your product.
5. You have to know the current trends, not just your product.
6. You have to know their marketing, not just your product.
7. You have to know their productivity, not just your product.
8. You have to know their profi t, not just your product.
Are you getting it yet?
Here are some classic examples of “we-we” thinking:
We have to educate the customer. Do you really think any customer on the planet wants your education? I can just picture your top 25 prospects sitting around doing nothing and saying, “Boy, I sure hope those people at Acme come over here and educate us, ’cause we’re pretty stupid.”
You feel like you have to tell the prospect all about you, your company and your product. Three things that are guaranteed to put any prospect to sleep.
We offer solutions. Hey Albert Einstein, do you think I’m just sitting here all day doing everything wrong, hoping that you will come along and rescue me with your “solution”? Solutions are an insult to a prospect. Answers are better and more partnershipand relationship-driven.
You compare yourself to the competition, rather than differentiate from them. You’re still selling your features and benefits. More “we-we.” I don’t want features, I want value. I don’t want benefits, I want value.
You have a PowerPoint presentation that brags, rather than proves. This will not put a prospect to sleep. It will put them in a deep sleep.
Assuming they have a genuine need or strong desire, all you need to make a sale is:
1. Answers they need.
2. Ideas they benefit from.
3. How you differentiate from the others.
4. Value they perceive.
5. Trust they perceive as a result of all the other elements being in place.
Meanwhile, the customer is qualifying you. They are forming a perception of you as you present. They are evaluating their risk of buying and doing business with you. They are formulating barriers. They are aware of their urgency of need,or not. They are doing a mental comparisonbetween you and the others. They are thinking, and their thoughts will become your reality.
Risk reality: In sales, it’s not what you say; it’s how they perceive what you say.
If the prospect perceives that it’s all about you, then there’s going to be a higher chance for unspoken risk and a lower sense of urgency on their part. If they perceive the presentation is about them, and they understand it and they need what you’re offering, then their barriers and risks will be lowered or removed, paving the path to purchase.
There’s an old song titled Take the ‘L’ out of lover and it’s OVER from the early 1980s by a group called the Motels. Paraphrase: Take the we out of selling, or it’s over. For you.
Jeffrey Gitomer
Think about the way you sell and the way you present your product or service. How many times do you think you use the word we? My bet is hundreds.
How many times should you use the word we? My answer is none.
Everything you do or say is in “we” format—especially if you have a marketing department. Does the customer care about you or themselves? Obvious answer. So why do you “we-we” all over them? They don’t care about you—unless you can help them.
The key in mastering any kind of sales is switching statements about you and how great you are andwhat you do, to statements about them, and how great they are and how they will produce more and profi t more from ownership of your product or service.
Here’s the secret: Take the word we and delete it. Delete it from your slides, your literature and especially from your sales presentation. You can use I but you can’t use we.
Here’s the power: When you stop using we, you have to substitute the word you or they and say things in terms of the customer. How they win, how they benefit, how they produce, how they profit, how they will be served and how they have peace of mind.We is for selling. You is for buying.
Mandate for understanding: Go through your entire presentation, record it, listen to it actively, which means taking notes. Count the word we. I’ll bet there are plenty. Take out the we, and begin to make value statements instead of selling statements.
Here’s the reality in plain English:
1. The buyer, the prospect, the customer expects you to have knowledge of their stuff, not just your stuff. To transfer that knowledge, the prospect needs to understand and agree with your ideas, feel your passion, feel your belief and feel your sincerity beyond the hype of the sales pitch.
2. You have to know their industry, not just your product.
3. You have to know their business, not just your product.
4. You have to know what’s new, what’s next and not just your product.
5. You have to know the current trends, not just your product.
6. You have to know their marketing, not just your product.
7. You have to know their productivity, not just your product.
8. You have to know their profi t, not just your product.
Are you getting it yet?
Here are some classic examples of “we-we” thinking:
We have to educate the customer. Do you really think any customer on the planet wants your education? I can just picture your top 25 prospects sitting around doing nothing and saying, “Boy, I sure hope those people at Acme come over here and educate us, ’cause we’re pretty stupid.”
You feel like you have to tell the prospect all about you, your company and your product. Three things that are guaranteed to put any prospect to sleep.
We offer solutions. Hey Albert Einstein, do you think I’m just sitting here all day doing everything wrong, hoping that you will come along and rescue me with your “solution”? Solutions are an insult to a prospect. Answers are better and more partnershipand relationship-driven.
You compare yourself to the competition, rather than differentiate from them. You’re still selling your features and benefits. More “we-we.” I don’t want features, I want value. I don’t want benefits, I want value.
You have a PowerPoint presentation that brags, rather than proves. This will not put a prospect to sleep. It will put them in a deep sleep.
Assuming they have a genuine need or strong desire, all you need to make a sale is:
1. Answers they need.
2. Ideas they benefit from.
3. How you differentiate from the others.
4. Value they perceive.
5. Trust they perceive as a result of all the other elements being in place.
Meanwhile, the customer is qualifying you. They are forming a perception of you as you present. They are evaluating their risk of buying and doing business with you. They are formulating barriers. They are aware of their urgency of need,or not. They are doing a mental comparisonbetween you and the others. They are thinking, and their thoughts will become your reality.
Risk reality: In sales, it’s not what you say; it’s how they perceive what you say.
If the prospect perceives that it’s all about you, then there’s going to be a higher chance for unspoken risk and a lower sense of urgency on their part. If they perceive the presentation is about them, and they understand it and they need what you’re offering, then their barriers and risks will be lowered or removed, paving the path to purchase.
There’s an old song titled Take the ‘L’ out of lover and it’s OVER from the early 1980s by a group called the Motels. Paraphrase: Take the we out of selling, or it’s over. For you.
Expectation
EXPECTATION
"I believe in the perfect outcome in every area of my life! Expect to be successful! Expect to win!" -- Brian Tracy
"It is funny about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the very best you will very often get it." -- W. Somerset Maugham
"Life... It tends to respond to our outlook, to shape itself to meet our expectations." -- Richard M. DeVos
"Today I live in the quiet, joyous expectation of good." -- Ernest Holmen
EXPERIENCE
"That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach." -- Aldous Huxley
"Mistakes are painful when they happen, but years later a collection of mistakes is what is called experience." -- Denis Waitley
"The good times we put in our pocket. The hard times we put into our heart." -- Les Brown
"Don't let the learning from your own experiences take too long. If you have been doing it wrong for the last ten years, I would suggest that´s long enough!" -- Jim Rohn
FAITH
"The leader seeks to communicate his vision to his followers. He captures their attention with his optimistic intuition of possible solutions to their needs. He influences them by the dynamism of his faith. He demonstrates confidence that the challenge can be met, the need resolved, the crisis overcome." -- John Haggai
"Nine requisites for contented living:
Health enough to make work a pleasure. Wealth enough to support your needs. Strength to battle with difficulties and overcome them. Grace enough to confess your sins and forsake them. Patience enough to toil until some good is accomplished. Charity enough to see some good in your neighbor. Love enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others. Faith enough to make real the things of God. Hope enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future." -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
"When you come to the edge of all the light you know, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: there will be something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly." -- Barbara J. Winter
"Fear of failure and fear of the unknown are always defeated by faith. Having faith in yourself, in the process of change, and in the new direction that change sets will reveal your own inner core of steel." -- Georgette Mosbacher
"I believe in the perfect outcome in every area of my life! Expect to be successful! Expect to win!" -- Brian Tracy
"It is funny about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the very best you will very often get it." -- W. Somerset Maugham
"Life... It tends to respond to our outlook, to shape itself to meet our expectations." -- Richard M. DeVos
"Today I live in the quiet, joyous expectation of good." -- Ernest Holmen
EXPERIENCE
"That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach." -- Aldous Huxley
"Mistakes are painful when they happen, but years later a collection of mistakes is what is called experience." -- Denis Waitley
"The good times we put in our pocket. The hard times we put into our heart." -- Les Brown
"Don't let the learning from your own experiences take too long. If you have been doing it wrong for the last ten years, I would suggest that´s long enough!" -- Jim Rohn
FAITH
"The leader seeks to communicate his vision to his followers. He captures their attention with his optimistic intuition of possible solutions to their needs. He influences them by the dynamism of his faith. He demonstrates confidence that the challenge can be met, the need resolved, the crisis overcome." -- John Haggai
"Nine requisites for contented living:
Health enough to make work a pleasure. Wealth enough to support your needs. Strength to battle with difficulties and overcome them. Grace enough to confess your sins and forsake them. Patience enough to toil until some good is accomplished. Charity enough to see some good in your neighbor. Love enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others. Faith enough to make real the things of God. Hope enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future." -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
"When you come to the edge of all the light you know, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: there will be something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly." -- Barbara J. Winter
"Fear of failure and fear of the unknown are always defeated by faith. Having faith in yourself, in the process of change, and in the new direction that change sets will reveal your own inner core of steel." -- Georgette Mosbacher
Do not believe
Do Not Believe In What You Have Heard
Do Not Believe In Tradition Because It Is Handed Down By Many Generations
Do Not Believe In Anything That Has Been Spoken Of Many Times
Do Not Believe Because The Written Statements Come From Some Old Sage
Do Not Believe In Conjecture
Do Not Believe In Authority Or Teachers Or Elders
But After Careful Observation And Analysis, When It Agrees With Reason And It Will Benefit One And All, Then Accept It And Live By It.
Buddha(563-583 BC)
Do Not Believe In Tradition Because It Is Handed Down By Many Generations
Do Not Believe In Anything That Has Been Spoken Of Many Times
Do Not Believe Because The Written Statements Come From Some Old Sage
Do Not Believe In Conjecture
Do Not Believe In Authority Or Teachers Or Elders
But After Careful Observation And Analysis, When It Agrees With Reason And It Will Benefit One And All, Then Accept It And Live By It.
Buddha(563-583 BC)
Thw number One sale Currency
The Number One Sales Currency
By Shane Gibson
F.E.A.R. as defined by many personal development gurus (the revered and even the self-proclaimed) is defined as False Evidence Appearing Real. To close big deals, and large clients, especially in turbulent or uncertain times is all about taking the F.E.A.R out of saying yes.Often the prospect has a dozen good reasons why they should do business with you, they even admit it, but still no deal. There’s a hesitance, a pause, then more questions, a couple stalls and more meetings hesitations and stalls. What are they afraid of? Often it’s an undefined sense of uncertainty. It’s emotional intuitive issue, they don’t trust us, or they don’t trust a number of factors that influence their business that are related to the transaction.“Sales is about creating an environment where an act of faith can take place.”This act of faith us based upon trust and credibility.
Trust is in my opinion the number one sales currency. Too many people think it’s a product, a pitch, a better deal, or a nice suit. These things are important, but all will fall short without trust.Recently I surveyed a number of senior investment advisors with one of Canada’s largest brokerage firms and asked them a very straightforward and open-ended question; “What does is take to move a big client (along with their with money) from a competitor to your firm?”Every single one of them, without exception, said “the relationship.” This relationship was built upon a series of trust building interactions, very few of which were related directly to immediate gains in stock picks or better brochures than the competitors. They described knowing the client personally through lunches, dinners, inviting them the VIP events and being very accessible and transparent in their dealings with them.I asked “what about your great research, your name in the press, the brand, and of course your track record?” The response: “That will get them to open their account with you and allow you to send them the odd e-mail or prospectus.” To move a large lump sum of money for you to manage they told me “you need trust, a real relationship based upon it.”I recently landed a fortune 50 client. I knew I was up against bigger competitors. After the RFP and final presentation was done I got the news. The deal was mine. When I asked the Senior VP of Sales for this company why I got the deal his answer was little surprising. He said “I don’t know, the other guys are well branded, they said the right things, but you just made us feel comfortable, you were open with us, I felt that our team would relate well to you.” Relate well? I thought. What about the results I’ve landed for other clients? Our great training modules? Our experience in their sector? Comfortable? They bought comfortable!? What kind if competitive advantage is that?!What my broker clients and I experienced is the same thing.Our value proposition, our branding, our stats and track record opened the door for us. To close the deal, and grow the client it was our ability to establish trust that was the deciding factor.
What is trust? Trust from a prospects perspective, is a sense of comfort, a belief that we’ll do what we say we’ll do regardless of a contract or what we’re obligated to do. Seems simple, but so many people today feign concern but don’t deliver. The truly empathetic sales person that is grounded and transparent has a huge advantage in the marketplace. Trustworthiness is a rare commodity, if we focus delivering it as out core value proposition we can lock clients in for a lifetime.So how do we establish it?
Here’s some quick concluding thoughts on the topic:
# 1) Know your product and service capabilities, all of it’s applications and all of it’s limitations. Close deals that fit and be willing to walk away or refer them to someone else. Basically take on clients you know you can hit a home run with.
# 2) Keep even the smallest commitment always, Even things like being on time are unspoken and implied commitments. If we can’t be trusted with minor details how can we be trusted with business critical issues?
# 3) Never talk about other clients to prospects, unless you let them know that you have pre-approval. They’ll enjoy the story but then later wonder what you’ll say about them.
# 4) Manage their expectations up front. Let them know what to expect, even in regards to product and service limitations. Our clients are grown-ups, they know there’s no perfect product or service and they’ll appreciate our candor.
# 5) Have conversations that are broader and deeper than our competitors are capable of having. Do this by educating ourselves more, researching more, assuming nothing, and customizing every interaction with the client.
# 6) This final point is by far the most critical. Be good at establishing genuine rapport. This happens by being totally aware, present and functional and having a highly developed capacity for listening and asking great questions. People will sense our level of empathy and sincerity more from the questions we ask then the stories that we tell.
By Shane Gibson
F.E.A.R. as defined by many personal development gurus (the revered and even the self-proclaimed) is defined as False Evidence Appearing Real. To close big deals, and large clients, especially in turbulent or uncertain times is all about taking the F.E.A.R out of saying yes.Often the prospect has a dozen good reasons why they should do business with you, they even admit it, but still no deal. There’s a hesitance, a pause, then more questions, a couple stalls and more meetings hesitations and stalls. What are they afraid of? Often it’s an undefined sense of uncertainty. It’s emotional intuitive issue, they don’t trust us, or they don’t trust a number of factors that influence their business that are related to the transaction.“Sales is about creating an environment where an act of faith can take place.”This act of faith us based upon trust and credibility.
Trust is in my opinion the number one sales currency. Too many people think it’s a product, a pitch, a better deal, or a nice suit. These things are important, but all will fall short without trust.Recently I surveyed a number of senior investment advisors with one of Canada’s largest brokerage firms and asked them a very straightforward and open-ended question; “What does is take to move a big client (along with their with money) from a competitor to your firm?”Every single one of them, without exception, said “the relationship.” This relationship was built upon a series of trust building interactions, very few of which were related directly to immediate gains in stock picks or better brochures than the competitors. They described knowing the client personally through lunches, dinners, inviting them the VIP events and being very accessible and transparent in their dealings with them.I asked “what about your great research, your name in the press, the brand, and of course your track record?” The response: “That will get them to open their account with you and allow you to send them the odd e-mail or prospectus.” To move a large lump sum of money for you to manage they told me “you need trust, a real relationship based upon it.”I recently landed a fortune 50 client. I knew I was up against bigger competitors. After the RFP and final presentation was done I got the news. The deal was mine. When I asked the Senior VP of Sales for this company why I got the deal his answer was little surprising. He said “I don’t know, the other guys are well branded, they said the right things, but you just made us feel comfortable, you were open with us, I felt that our team would relate well to you.” Relate well? I thought. What about the results I’ve landed for other clients? Our great training modules? Our experience in their sector? Comfortable? They bought comfortable!? What kind if competitive advantage is that?!What my broker clients and I experienced is the same thing.Our value proposition, our branding, our stats and track record opened the door for us. To close the deal, and grow the client it was our ability to establish trust that was the deciding factor.
What is trust? Trust from a prospects perspective, is a sense of comfort, a belief that we’ll do what we say we’ll do regardless of a contract or what we’re obligated to do. Seems simple, but so many people today feign concern but don’t deliver. The truly empathetic sales person that is grounded and transparent has a huge advantage in the marketplace. Trustworthiness is a rare commodity, if we focus delivering it as out core value proposition we can lock clients in for a lifetime.So how do we establish it?
Here’s some quick concluding thoughts on the topic:
# 1) Know your product and service capabilities, all of it’s applications and all of it’s limitations. Close deals that fit and be willing to walk away or refer them to someone else. Basically take on clients you know you can hit a home run with.
# 2) Keep even the smallest commitment always, Even things like being on time are unspoken and implied commitments. If we can’t be trusted with minor details how can we be trusted with business critical issues?
# 3) Never talk about other clients to prospects, unless you let them know that you have pre-approval. They’ll enjoy the story but then later wonder what you’ll say about them.
# 4) Manage their expectations up front. Let them know what to expect, even in regards to product and service limitations. Our clients are grown-ups, they know there’s no perfect product or service and they’ll appreciate our candor.
# 5) Have conversations that are broader and deeper than our competitors are capable of having. Do this by educating ourselves more, researching more, assuming nothing, and customizing every interaction with the client.
# 6) This final point is by far the most critical. Be good at establishing genuine rapport. This happens by being totally aware, present and functional and having a highly developed capacity for listening and asking great questions. People will sense our level of empathy and sincerity more from the questions we ask then the stories that we tell.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
WAYS TO HANDLE THE ARGUMENTIVE PERSON
18 Ways to Handle the Argumentative Person
Have you ever been in a conversation where you found your mind drifting, dreaming, and struggling to stay focused? Do you remember how it feels to try and listen as someone drones on and on? When we are faced with a poor communicator there can be many reasons for the missed connection. Often there are words and phrases that simply shut us down, and prevent us from listening as well as we would like. Many times the person communicating is injecting so many negative words and ideas that we begin to feel down and heavy inside. It may just be that the person you are communicating with is boring you because the content of the communication is all about them, about stories you don't care to listen to, and people you have never met!
What if that poor communicator who is boring someone to tears.... is you? How would you know if you are the one who is inserting negative associations, bringing up insignificant details, droning on about you, you, you? How do you know if someone is really interested in what you have to say... that they are really engaged in the conversation? What is your method of observing whether or not the person or group is interested and intrigued, or tired and looking for the door?
When you become a top notch communicator, you learn from everyone you talk with. You will notice the subtle cues that tell you if you are in good rapport, speaking in a way that your audience understands, and using words that create desire and interest. You will be willing to identify in yourself those things that push others away and prevent them from listening as well as you would like. This is a very potent aspect of self awareness that allows you to stay fascinating to everyone around you!
Throughout this series of articles you will look at the areas of communication where people most often go wrong. You will discover how you may have been alienating others and helping them to feel negative when they are around you. As you read these scenarios, notice if you see yourself in them. Take time to be very honest about your style of communication and the effects you are having on those around you.
The Argumentative Communicator
Do you enjoy playing the devil's advocate? Are you constantly offering your opposing opinion when it is not asked for? Do you find yourself saying the word "but" often in your conversation with others? You may be an argumentative talker. There is an effective way to take an opposing view, but it may destroy rapport. There is a way to give your opinion, but it may be received as unwanted advice. When you continue to oppose the comments of your listener, you run the risk of making them feel wrong, stupid, or uninformed.
Men and women seem to view communication differences in different ways. I often notice that men will say, "we had a debate" or "an intense conversation" and women will indicate that they had "a fight" or an "argument."
The argumentative communicator, whether a man or a woman should be aware that their communication efforts may immediately be perceived as a "fight" (the worst of the four above labels) regardless of the intent of the communicator.
I have a confession to make. I was in debate in high school and like Jack Welch (former CEO of GE) I find a good debate stimulating and enlightening. Debate generally can be described as a structured discussion where individuals cite evidence about an issue in an attempt to persuade another person. Debate is an intellectual process where it is OK and preferable to be "right." While I do enjoy debating very much, I do not enjoy arguing, which is emotionally based.
Arguing is where two or more people disagree about some subject, they raise their voices and make the discussion personal by bringing in the other person's intentions.
What's the difference then between debate and an argument?
In debate we cite evidence with the intent to validate our point of view. In arguments we cite evidence, make claims about the negative intention of the other person's behavior, and become very emotional to the point where apologies will be in order after the communication is finished because one or both parties will have their feelings hurt. In an argument the individual feels attacked. When the attack is perceived as hostile, with intention to harm, I call this a "fight."
Perceptions are tricky things. One person may be simply debating or discussing a subject intellectually with no intent to harm. The other person may perceive such communication as intending to harm them and they feel as if they are in a fight with a need to defend themselves instead of their point of view! Sometimes it takes quite a long time for the person who is debating to come to the conclusion that the other person is upset and fighting.
There are no easy and clearly defined answers to rapidly determine whether someone thinks you are arguing, fighting, debating or discussing. Therefore it is vital to ask if it's "OK to have this conversation" or at least smile. It's also important to keep sarcasm out of discussions and debates if it isn't obvious to the other person that you are having fun with them...instead of poking fun at them.
The argumentative communicator needs to be right. They want to defeat their opponent as if the dining room or boardroom is a courtroom where only one person can "win." In interpersonal communications or in business, it's critical to remember that it's very easy for no one to win. This doesn't mean to stop disagreeing or intellectually pursuing what is good and right. It is very important to make sure those we have discussions with do not feel attacked.
There is an additional problem. You and I both know that we often take possession of our ideas as if they were our identity. If people's ideas and verbalized thoughts are always experienced at the level of one's identity, then all debate will become perceived as fighting or arguing. Therefore, when this pattern of communication erupts it's important to separate the idea from the person. This doesn't stop discussion and debates from becoming arguments and fights but it does add clarity to the conversation.
If you are discussing something with someone and they perceive you as argumentative, I suggest you ask the person, "How can I present counter examples and other points of view to you so that you are not offended and your feelings are not hurt?" I thought of this wonderful question many times when it was simply too late to ask.
If you experience numerous people saying things like, "you just love to argue don't you?" or "why do you always argue with me" or "I don't want to fight with you," then regardless of whether you are fighting with people or not you need to reconsider your approach to communication so you are perceived as less abrasive.
Many times people who are intellectuals (whether they are "intellectual snobs" or not!) are considered argumentative simply because they have such a broad or deep knowledge about something that they are constantly the individual with superior knowledge about a subject. This can lead others to feeling inferior. In these situations it can be useful for the person pereceived as superior and therefore the one who often puts others "on edge" or "on the defensive" to reduce the number of verbalizations in a communication and "tighten up their communication." Make long speeches shorter. Ask more questions and have fewer total words spoken in dialogue.
Remember: Where one person knows seems to know everything, the other person is not necessary...or at least that's how they feel.
Most brilliant people got that way because they were incredibly inquisitive. This too can become a problem. Asking questions of others is a great way to learn about how others feel, think and believe but believe it or not...there are lines that can be crossed here as well!
Many people process their "thoughts" through their "feelings." You can ask someone what they are thinking and they will say, "I don't know," "nothing", "not much," "nothing important," and so on. These people aren't planning major life events in their mind, they are simply in the moment...in their feelings and because they process information differently from verbalizing thinkers, they often feel inadequate in a relationship or are pegged as poor communicators. In fact, they may not be good communicators but they can improve their communication skills if others don't put an enormous amount of pressure on them.
If you are a person who takes time to process external information and you don't communicate well about information you have just received, a good strategy to appear more competent is to say things like, "I need to consider what you've said...to ponder it." "Let me think about what you've said. I'd like to talk with you tomorrow about it, when I've taken the time it deserves." "My initial reaction is positive and I'd like to take some more time to consider it."
What this does is allow the two parties to know that there is no problem with what was communicated by the verbalizing party and that they are indeed considering the information, not ignoring it as verbalizers often feel others are doing "to them."
"Non-verbalizers" (people who use few words in the course of a day or a conversation) often become angry when they are asked to express more than they already have said. This leads them to argue from their feeling base. "Why do you always make me feel bad." "You're mean." "You don't respect my feelings." They might raise their voice and repeat the same sets of feelings or thoughts over and over and they are now arguing.
Instead, the "nonverbalizer" can share information like this. "I'm starting to get upset but it's because I'm not able to put my feelings into words yet. I'm not upset with you and I don't want to be, so let me ponder this and let's talk again tomorrow about it."
Meanwhile, the "verbalizer" (people who share lots of information...almost streams of information in communication) get upset and angry when others don't respond in like kind. Someone who communicates 50 out of 60 minutes will feel the other person is "holding back" or "covering up" or that they just don't care. These things upset the "verbalizer" and once upset, as with all communication about to go wrong...emotions will get the best of the verbalizer and communication will deteriorate rapidly. Because the verbalizer is able to deliver words in large volume and speed, the verbalizer also is more likely to be deemed argumentative when she gets upset. Her voice will raise and become angry.
The verbalizer needs to share their feelings now. "I'm starting to become angry because I feel as if you are not sharing with me what I'm asking you for. Am I reading you right?" It's very important that the nonverbalizer doesn't take this communication as "blaming" because the nonverbalizer is by definition someone who doesn't communicate as much and certainly not as quickly as a verbalizer.
What can you do if you are dealing with an argumentative communicator that you have to deal with?
Tell the person you don't enjoy arguing but that you will discuss options and ideas.
Tell the person you respect their point of view but disagree.
If necessary, tell the person that this subject is something you don't wish to continue discussing because it is personal or volatile. (This is OK for business of course but not going to do the trick in long term relationships.)
Speak your point of view clearly and what it would take for you to re-evaluate your point of view.
Ask the person, Is being right more important than your feelings?" (In other words, what is at stake? Safety? Life/Death? Some long term issue? or Is it about whether you squeeze the toothpaste from the middle or end....)
Suggest the person frame their comments in a more gentle fashion. "I know you aren't saying that to attack me, it just hurts when you say it that way."
"Instead of yelling, allow yourself to speak calmly and then I'll be able to listen to you better."
"If you stop calling me names when we talk, I'd be a lot less defensive. Deal?"
What can you do if you are an argumentative communicator?
Ask more questions.
Be interested in how the other people in your life came to believe and think what they think.
Be aware that not everyone perceives discussion, debate, arguing and fighting in the same way. Find out what those important to you believe about each of these things.
Ask the important people in your life specifically how you can communicate with them to help them know you don't want to argue but discuss.
Determine why you need to be "right" or make someone else "wrong" in heated communications.
Always think of your intention. If your intention is gentle. Speak more quietly. People associate quieter tones and gentler intentions.
Show people you care in ways other than verbally so they know you care when you do argue.
If you find yourself getting into a heated discussion, ask the other person if they feel you are arguing or discussing. Ask what the difference would be for them.
Ask your friend/association/partner how you can communicate without giving the appearance of arguing.
Be certain that you make clear your intention so it is not misunderstood!
Have you ever been in a conversation where you found your mind drifting, dreaming, and struggling to stay focused? Do you remember how it feels to try and listen as someone drones on and on? When we are faced with a poor communicator there can be many reasons for the missed connection. Often there are words and phrases that simply shut us down, and prevent us from listening as well as we would like. Many times the person communicating is injecting so many negative words and ideas that we begin to feel down and heavy inside. It may just be that the person you are communicating with is boring you because the content of the communication is all about them, about stories you don't care to listen to, and people you have never met!
What if that poor communicator who is boring someone to tears.... is you? How would you know if you are the one who is inserting negative associations, bringing up insignificant details, droning on about you, you, you? How do you know if someone is really interested in what you have to say... that they are really engaged in the conversation? What is your method of observing whether or not the person or group is interested and intrigued, or tired and looking for the door?
When you become a top notch communicator, you learn from everyone you talk with. You will notice the subtle cues that tell you if you are in good rapport, speaking in a way that your audience understands, and using words that create desire and interest. You will be willing to identify in yourself those things that push others away and prevent them from listening as well as you would like. This is a very potent aspect of self awareness that allows you to stay fascinating to everyone around you!
Throughout this series of articles you will look at the areas of communication where people most often go wrong. You will discover how you may have been alienating others and helping them to feel negative when they are around you. As you read these scenarios, notice if you see yourself in them. Take time to be very honest about your style of communication and the effects you are having on those around you.
The Argumentative Communicator
Do you enjoy playing the devil's advocate? Are you constantly offering your opposing opinion when it is not asked for? Do you find yourself saying the word "but" often in your conversation with others? You may be an argumentative talker. There is an effective way to take an opposing view, but it may destroy rapport. There is a way to give your opinion, but it may be received as unwanted advice. When you continue to oppose the comments of your listener, you run the risk of making them feel wrong, stupid, or uninformed.
Men and women seem to view communication differences in different ways. I often notice that men will say, "we had a debate" or "an intense conversation" and women will indicate that they had "a fight" or an "argument."
The argumentative communicator, whether a man or a woman should be aware that their communication efforts may immediately be perceived as a "fight" (the worst of the four above labels) regardless of the intent of the communicator.
I have a confession to make. I was in debate in high school and like Jack Welch (former CEO of GE) I find a good debate stimulating and enlightening. Debate generally can be described as a structured discussion where individuals cite evidence about an issue in an attempt to persuade another person. Debate is an intellectual process where it is OK and preferable to be "right." While I do enjoy debating very much, I do not enjoy arguing, which is emotionally based.
Arguing is where two or more people disagree about some subject, they raise their voices and make the discussion personal by bringing in the other person's intentions.
What's the difference then between debate and an argument?
In debate we cite evidence with the intent to validate our point of view. In arguments we cite evidence, make claims about the negative intention of the other person's behavior, and become very emotional to the point where apologies will be in order after the communication is finished because one or both parties will have their feelings hurt. In an argument the individual feels attacked. When the attack is perceived as hostile, with intention to harm, I call this a "fight."
Perceptions are tricky things. One person may be simply debating or discussing a subject intellectually with no intent to harm. The other person may perceive such communication as intending to harm them and they feel as if they are in a fight with a need to defend themselves instead of their point of view! Sometimes it takes quite a long time for the person who is debating to come to the conclusion that the other person is upset and fighting.
There are no easy and clearly defined answers to rapidly determine whether someone thinks you are arguing, fighting, debating or discussing. Therefore it is vital to ask if it's "OK to have this conversation" or at least smile. It's also important to keep sarcasm out of discussions and debates if it isn't obvious to the other person that you are having fun with them...instead of poking fun at them.
The argumentative communicator needs to be right. They want to defeat their opponent as if the dining room or boardroom is a courtroom where only one person can "win." In interpersonal communications or in business, it's critical to remember that it's very easy for no one to win. This doesn't mean to stop disagreeing or intellectually pursuing what is good and right. It is very important to make sure those we have discussions with do not feel attacked.
There is an additional problem. You and I both know that we often take possession of our ideas as if they were our identity. If people's ideas and verbalized thoughts are always experienced at the level of one's identity, then all debate will become perceived as fighting or arguing. Therefore, when this pattern of communication erupts it's important to separate the idea from the person. This doesn't stop discussion and debates from becoming arguments and fights but it does add clarity to the conversation.
If you are discussing something with someone and they perceive you as argumentative, I suggest you ask the person, "How can I present counter examples and other points of view to you so that you are not offended and your feelings are not hurt?" I thought of this wonderful question many times when it was simply too late to ask.
If you experience numerous people saying things like, "you just love to argue don't you?" or "why do you always argue with me" or "I don't want to fight with you," then regardless of whether you are fighting with people or not you need to reconsider your approach to communication so you are perceived as less abrasive.
Many times people who are intellectuals (whether they are "intellectual snobs" or not!) are considered argumentative simply because they have such a broad or deep knowledge about something that they are constantly the individual with superior knowledge about a subject. This can lead others to feeling inferior. In these situations it can be useful for the person pereceived as superior and therefore the one who often puts others "on edge" or "on the defensive" to reduce the number of verbalizations in a communication and "tighten up their communication." Make long speeches shorter. Ask more questions and have fewer total words spoken in dialogue.
Remember: Where one person knows seems to know everything, the other person is not necessary...or at least that's how they feel.
Most brilliant people got that way because they were incredibly inquisitive. This too can become a problem. Asking questions of others is a great way to learn about how others feel, think and believe but believe it or not...there are lines that can be crossed here as well!
Many people process their "thoughts" through their "feelings." You can ask someone what they are thinking and they will say, "I don't know," "nothing", "not much," "nothing important," and so on. These people aren't planning major life events in their mind, they are simply in the moment...in their feelings and because they process information differently from verbalizing thinkers, they often feel inadequate in a relationship or are pegged as poor communicators. In fact, they may not be good communicators but they can improve their communication skills if others don't put an enormous amount of pressure on them.
If you are a person who takes time to process external information and you don't communicate well about information you have just received, a good strategy to appear more competent is to say things like, "I need to consider what you've said...to ponder it." "Let me think about what you've said. I'd like to talk with you tomorrow about it, when I've taken the time it deserves." "My initial reaction is positive and I'd like to take some more time to consider it."
What this does is allow the two parties to know that there is no problem with what was communicated by the verbalizing party and that they are indeed considering the information, not ignoring it as verbalizers often feel others are doing "to them."
"Non-verbalizers" (people who use few words in the course of a day or a conversation) often become angry when they are asked to express more than they already have said. This leads them to argue from their feeling base. "Why do you always make me feel bad." "You're mean." "You don't respect my feelings." They might raise their voice and repeat the same sets of feelings or thoughts over and over and they are now arguing.
Instead, the "nonverbalizer" can share information like this. "I'm starting to get upset but it's because I'm not able to put my feelings into words yet. I'm not upset with you and I don't want to be, so let me ponder this and let's talk again tomorrow about it."
Meanwhile, the "verbalizer" (people who share lots of information...almost streams of information in communication) get upset and angry when others don't respond in like kind. Someone who communicates 50 out of 60 minutes will feel the other person is "holding back" or "covering up" or that they just don't care. These things upset the "verbalizer" and once upset, as with all communication about to go wrong...emotions will get the best of the verbalizer and communication will deteriorate rapidly. Because the verbalizer is able to deliver words in large volume and speed, the verbalizer also is more likely to be deemed argumentative when she gets upset. Her voice will raise and become angry.
The verbalizer needs to share their feelings now. "I'm starting to become angry because I feel as if you are not sharing with me what I'm asking you for. Am I reading you right?" It's very important that the nonverbalizer doesn't take this communication as "blaming" because the nonverbalizer is by definition someone who doesn't communicate as much and certainly not as quickly as a verbalizer.
What can you do if you are dealing with an argumentative communicator that you have to deal with?
Tell the person you don't enjoy arguing but that you will discuss options and ideas.
Tell the person you respect their point of view but disagree.
If necessary, tell the person that this subject is something you don't wish to continue discussing because it is personal or volatile. (This is OK for business of course but not going to do the trick in long term relationships.)
Speak your point of view clearly and what it would take for you to re-evaluate your point of view.
Ask the person, Is being right more important than your feelings?" (In other words, what is at stake? Safety? Life/Death? Some long term issue? or Is it about whether you squeeze the toothpaste from the middle or end....)
Suggest the person frame their comments in a more gentle fashion. "I know you aren't saying that to attack me, it just hurts when you say it that way."
"Instead of yelling, allow yourself to speak calmly and then I'll be able to listen to you better."
"If you stop calling me names when we talk, I'd be a lot less defensive. Deal?"
What can you do if you are an argumentative communicator?
Ask more questions.
Be interested in how the other people in your life came to believe and think what they think.
Be aware that not everyone perceives discussion, debate, arguing and fighting in the same way. Find out what those important to you believe about each of these things.
Ask the important people in your life specifically how you can communicate with them to help them know you don't want to argue but discuss.
Determine why you need to be "right" or make someone else "wrong" in heated communications.
Always think of your intention. If your intention is gentle. Speak more quietly. People associate quieter tones and gentler intentions.
Show people you care in ways other than verbally so they know you care when you do argue.
If you find yourself getting into a heated discussion, ask the other person if they feel you are arguing or discussing. Ask what the difference would be for them.
Ask your friend/association/partner how you can communicate without giving the appearance of arguing.
Be certain that you make clear your intention so it is not misunderstood!
A few Truths
A Few Truths
1. No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission.
2. Most people will be about as happy as they decide to be.
3. Others can stop you temporarily. But, only you can do it permanently.
4. Whatever you are willing to put up with is exactly what you will have.
5. Success stops when you do.
6. When your ship comes in, make sure you are willing to unload it.
7. You will never 'have it all together'.
8. Life is a journey, not a destination. Enjoy the trip!
9. The biggest lie on the planet: "When I get what I want, I will be happy."
10. The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.
11. I've learned that, ultimately, 'takers' lose and 'givers' win.
12. Life's precious moments don't have value, unless they are shared.
13. If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive.
14. We often fear the thing we want the most.
15. Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you have to say. Best friends listen to what you
don't say!
16. Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.
17. Look for opportunities, not guarantees.
18. Life is what's coming, not what was.
19. Success is getting up, one more time.
20. Now is the most interesting time of all.
21. When things go wrong, don't go with them.
22. Sometimes, the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.
23. Anyone who asks a question might be a fool for 5 minutes. But, a person, who doesn't ask, is a fool forever.
24. A best friend is like a four leaf clover; hard to find and lucky to have.
25. A friend is someone who reaches for your hand, but touches your heart.
26. I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
27. Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead, rather than to look back.
1. No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission.
2. Most people will be about as happy as they decide to be.
3. Others can stop you temporarily. But, only you can do it permanently.
4. Whatever you are willing to put up with is exactly what you will have.
5. Success stops when you do.
6. When your ship comes in, make sure you are willing to unload it.
7. You will never 'have it all together'.
8. Life is a journey, not a destination. Enjoy the trip!
9. The biggest lie on the planet: "When I get what I want, I will be happy."
10. The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.
11. I've learned that, ultimately, 'takers' lose and 'givers' win.
12. Life's precious moments don't have value, unless they are shared.
13. If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive.
14. We often fear the thing we want the most.
15. Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you have to say. Best friends listen to what you
don't say!
16. Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.
17. Look for opportunities, not guarantees.
18. Life is what's coming, not what was.
19. Success is getting up, one more time.
20. Now is the most interesting time of all.
21. When things go wrong, don't go with them.
22. Sometimes, the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.
23. Anyone who asks a question might be a fool for 5 minutes. But, a person, who doesn't ask, is a fool forever.
24. A best friend is like a four leaf clover; hard to find and lucky to have.
25. A friend is someone who reaches for your hand, but touches your heart.
26. I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
27. Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead, rather than to look back.
Someday and If Only
"SOMEDAY" and "IF ONLY"
by Ed Foreman
The young boy, the young girl, says, "Someday when I get out of school, move away from home and start to college, I'm really going to have fun, I'll be happy and life will be great." The college student says, "Someday when I graduate, get my degree, get a job, my own apartment, I'll be happy and am really gonna' live!" The young couple says, "When we get moved into our new home, get that promotion and join the Country Club, we'll really be happy and life will be so good." Mother and father say, "Someday, when those kids get out of school and we get this place paid off, we're really gonna' be happy and truly enjoy life." The accountant says, "When tax season's over…"; the teacher says, "When school's out…"; the farmer says, "When the crops are in…"; the technician says, "When this program's completed…"; the engineer says, "When this job's done…"; the speaker/entertainer says, "When this tour's finished…"; the candidate says, "When I'm elected…"; the coach/player says, "When the season's over…"; the statistician says, "When all the numbers are in…"; the health minister says, "When I see what the others are gonna' do…"; … ad infinitum. The older couple says, "Someday when we retire, we're really gonna' enjoy life, do all those things we've been wanting to do but never seemed to take time to do…we're gonna' be happy 'n have a good time then!"
On the way out, they look back longingly and say, "Wow! If only I had it to do over again, I'd have gone barefooted to school in the spring like Billy Bob did… 'n slipped off to the creek with Ralph Raymond and Joe Day to go swimming after school like they did. If only I hadn't gotten married so young, I'd have gone to Alaska with Ed, Kendall and Pete… what fun that would have been! If only I'd borrowed the money, taken the chance, and developed that idea of mine into a business like Ed did instead of taking a job with the Grist Mill because of the security they offered, two weeks vacation with pay each year… a company car and expense account… an insurance program… retirement, social security, 'n a gold watch. If only I could do it over again, I'd smile more, worry less… I'd take chances, I'd travel to exotic places, meeting interesting people, ride motorcycles, fly airplanes and hot air balloons… I'd hike mountain trails, zip across the desert, camp out, canoe, portage, fish, hunt, laugh, love and live! Oh, if only I could live it all over, I'd take better care of myself, exercise more often, drink less booze 'n more juice… eat less fat 'n more veggies. I'd treasure every day, love everybody, thank God for my blessings and lessons, my successes and my setbacks…" if only…", I'd be happy and truly live every day!"
There's an old fable...and the title of a recent great book by Mark L. Feldman and Michael F. Spratt that goes, "There were five frogs on a log… four of 'em decided to jump. How many frogs are left on the log?
The most common answer is one. The second most popular answer is none… because, they reason, if four decided to jump, the remaining frog probably went along with the majority. The right answer is five!
Deciding to do something and taking the action to do it, are two entirely different things! My Daddy used to say, "Aiming to, don't pick no cotton!"
The leaders… the real winners in life are the ones who evaluate the situation, make a decision and take action! Got something that's bothering you? Write out in a clear, complete statement, not a question, the challenge you are facing. Ask yourself, "What are the causes of this situation?" Often you resolve it there… if not… then ask yourself, "What are all the possible answers to this challenge?" Write out all the possible answers… brainstorm, don't evaluate. Then review all the possible answers… decide on the best possible answer… then ACT… do it now!
Get rid of the "Someday I'm gonna'…" and the "If only…" syndrome, and get on with LIFE!
by Ed Foreman
The young boy, the young girl, says, "Someday when I get out of school, move away from home and start to college, I'm really going to have fun, I'll be happy and life will be great." The college student says, "Someday when I graduate, get my degree, get a job, my own apartment, I'll be happy and am really gonna' live!" The young couple says, "When we get moved into our new home, get that promotion and join the Country Club, we'll really be happy and life will be so good." Mother and father say, "Someday, when those kids get out of school and we get this place paid off, we're really gonna' be happy and truly enjoy life." The accountant says, "When tax season's over…"; the teacher says, "When school's out…"; the farmer says, "When the crops are in…"; the technician says, "When this program's completed…"; the engineer says, "When this job's done…"; the speaker/entertainer says, "When this tour's finished…"; the candidate says, "When I'm elected…"; the coach/player says, "When the season's over…"; the statistician says, "When all the numbers are in…"; the health minister says, "When I see what the others are gonna' do…"; … ad infinitum. The older couple says, "Someday when we retire, we're really gonna' enjoy life, do all those things we've been wanting to do but never seemed to take time to do…we're gonna' be happy 'n have a good time then!"
On the way out, they look back longingly and say, "Wow! If only I had it to do over again, I'd have gone barefooted to school in the spring like Billy Bob did… 'n slipped off to the creek with Ralph Raymond and Joe Day to go swimming after school like they did. If only I hadn't gotten married so young, I'd have gone to Alaska with Ed, Kendall and Pete… what fun that would have been! If only I'd borrowed the money, taken the chance, and developed that idea of mine into a business like Ed did instead of taking a job with the Grist Mill because of the security they offered, two weeks vacation with pay each year… a company car and expense account… an insurance program… retirement, social security, 'n a gold watch. If only I could do it over again, I'd smile more, worry less… I'd take chances, I'd travel to exotic places, meeting interesting people, ride motorcycles, fly airplanes and hot air balloons… I'd hike mountain trails, zip across the desert, camp out, canoe, portage, fish, hunt, laugh, love and live! Oh, if only I could live it all over, I'd take better care of myself, exercise more often, drink less booze 'n more juice… eat less fat 'n more veggies. I'd treasure every day, love everybody, thank God for my blessings and lessons, my successes and my setbacks…" if only…", I'd be happy and truly live every day!"
There's an old fable...and the title of a recent great book by Mark L. Feldman and Michael F. Spratt that goes, "There were five frogs on a log… four of 'em decided to jump. How many frogs are left on the log?
The most common answer is one. The second most popular answer is none… because, they reason, if four decided to jump, the remaining frog probably went along with the majority. The right answer is five!
Deciding to do something and taking the action to do it, are two entirely different things! My Daddy used to say, "Aiming to, don't pick no cotton!"
The leaders… the real winners in life are the ones who evaluate the situation, make a decision and take action! Got something that's bothering you? Write out in a clear, complete statement, not a question, the challenge you are facing. Ask yourself, "What are the causes of this situation?" Often you resolve it there… if not… then ask yourself, "What are all the possible answers to this challenge?" Write out all the possible answers… brainstorm, don't evaluate. Then review all the possible answers… decide on the best possible answer… then ACT… do it now!
Get rid of the "Someday I'm gonna'…" and the "If only…" syndrome, and get on with LIFE!
From Making a Living to creating a Lifestyle
From Making a Living to Creating a Lifestyle
by Jim Rohn
After having struggled for so long, it took a shift in attitude for my family and me when success started to happen. When I started making a little extra money at age 25, Shoaff taught me to also let it serve as a new inspiration for lifestyle. To take my family to dinner after I'd had 2 or 3 pretty good weeks and it looked like it was going to continue. I would say, "Today we get to order from only the left hand side of the menu, we don't have to look at the right hand side". Didn't cost much, just a little extra. But you can't believe the effect on the family, wow, that these are new days.
It's called changing your life as well as changing your skills and earning more money. It's best to invest some of that early money in lifestyle. Go to the movies. Take two vacations instead of one. Just some little extra things that now the family gets inspired by this new commitment to earning more and becoming more and learning more, taking some night classes, whatever you have to do. Now you make it more worthwhile for the family by thinking of lifestyle changes that now become very exciting. Go to the concerts. My parents said don't miss anything. Don't miss the play, the music, the songs, the performances, the movie - whatever is happening.
When I started making some extra money I opened up an account for my wife and I called it the "No Questions Asked Account". I said, "here is the checkbook for a new account and it's called no questions asked".
I'll just keep putting money in there and you spend it for whatever you wish. It was life changing. It wasn't a fortune. But she didn't have to ask for money any more. I could sense that it was a little embarrassing at times when she had to ask me for money. I thought, that's not good, so the first time I get a chance, here's what I'm going to do. And sure enough, I did it. The "No Questions Asked Account". You can't believe what that did. It was absolutely amazing.
With that little extra money, work at creating lifestyle. Social friendships, church, community, country. All those things that make a composite of our overall life. Start furnishing that with new vigor, vitality, money, whatever it takes to expand your life into what I call the good life as well as economics.
And it doesn't always take a lot of money. How much is a movie? Even for a person of modest means. $8 or $10? It might cost $60 million to make it and it only costs $8 to see it.
When I discovered those kinds of concepts at age 25 you can imagine it was hard for me to sleep nights that first year. I got so excited about changing everything. And one discipline leads to another. One change leads to another. Feeling good about yourself and starting to make the turn to do something you've never done before, then it starts to work, wow, and then you get excited about changing other areas of your life as well.
Now after you have made your fortune, the money and extravagance might not seem as big a deal. And fortunately you can then create even more powerful opportunities, in particular, opportunities for benevolence, philanthropy and giving.
Now I'm certainly not saying to focus only on external pleasures and rewards. Your relationships, health and spirituality are all of more consequence.
But in the beginning, when the rewards of your hard work begin paying off, make sure and treat yourself and those closest to you to a new world of lifestyle and celebrations.
To Your Success,Jim Rohn
by Jim Rohn
After having struggled for so long, it took a shift in attitude for my family and me when success started to happen. When I started making a little extra money at age 25, Shoaff taught me to also let it serve as a new inspiration for lifestyle. To take my family to dinner after I'd had 2 or 3 pretty good weeks and it looked like it was going to continue. I would say, "Today we get to order from only the left hand side of the menu, we don't have to look at the right hand side". Didn't cost much, just a little extra. But you can't believe the effect on the family, wow, that these are new days.
It's called changing your life as well as changing your skills and earning more money. It's best to invest some of that early money in lifestyle. Go to the movies. Take two vacations instead of one. Just some little extra things that now the family gets inspired by this new commitment to earning more and becoming more and learning more, taking some night classes, whatever you have to do. Now you make it more worthwhile for the family by thinking of lifestyle changes that now become very exciting. Go to the concerts. My parents said don't miss anything. Don't miss the play, the music, the songs, the performances, the movie - whatever is happening.
When I started making some extra money I opened up an account for my wife and I called it the "No Questions Asked Account". I said, "here is the checkbook for a new account and it's called no questions asked".
I'll just keep putting money in there and you spend it for whatever you wish. It was life changing. It wasn't a fortune. But she didn't have to ask for money any more. I could sense that it was a little embarrassing at times when she had to ask me for money. I thought, that's not good, so the first time I get a chance, here's what I'm going to do. And sure enough, I did it. The "No Questions Asked Account". You can't believe what that did. It was absolutely amazing.
With that little extra money, work at creating lifestyle. Social friendships, church, community, country. All those things that make a composite of our overall life. Start furnishing that with new vigor, vitality, money, whatever it takes to expand your life into what I call the good life as well as economics.
And it doesn't always take a lot of money. How much is a movie? Even for a person of modest means. $8 or $10? It might cost $60 million to make it and it only costs $8 to see it.
When I discovered those kinds of concepts at age 25 you can imagine it was hard for me to sleep nights that first year. I got so excited about changing everything. And one discipline leads to another. One change leads to another. Feeling good about yourself and starting to make the turn to do something you've never done before, then it starts to work, wow, and then you get excited about changing other areas of your life as well.
Now after you have made your fortune, the money and extravagance might not seem as big a deal. And fortunately you can then create even more powerful opportunities, in particular, opportunities for benevolence, philanthropy and giving.
Now I'm certainly not saying to focus only on external pleasures and rewards. Your relationships, health and spirituality are all of more consequence.
But in the beginning, when the rewards of your hard work begin paying off, make sure and treat yourself and those closest to you to a new world of lifestyle and celebrations.
To Your Success,Jim Rohn
Monday, April 27, 2009
The Consistency Contest
The Consistency Contest
This time of year as the weather lends itself toward outdoor activities, the emergency rooms of hospitals all across the country are filled with "weekend warriors." "Weekend warriors" are middle-aged, former, or would-be athletes who have decided to begin exercising again or take up where they left off in their sports career. Unfortunately, they see no need to ease back into physical activity. They believe that they can simply pick up where they left off when they were in high school.
Success in exercise, sports, or in our business and personal lives, comes from a long-term, consistent performance, not a short-term sprint.
We have all met the sales person who, for some reason, got short-term motivation and decides to break every record this week. For one or two days, he or she makes more sales calls than anyone has ever done. Unfortunately, by the third or fourth day, the short-term motivation has dwindled, and they are performing at their old mediocre level or, in some cases, even lower.
Success is not about what can you do today or even tomorrow. It is a matter of what can you do every day without fail from now on. Physical trainers tell us that it takes surprisingly little exercise to get or stay in shape if you will be absolutely consistent. The short-term bursts of activity do little other than promote injuries and a deflated ego. Investment experts tell us that the surest strategy to wealth-building is not to make an immediate killing in the market but, instead, to practice a systematic plan of savings and prudent investing.
Think of the things in your business or personal life you would like to improve. Ask yourself, "What single activity would create the improvement I seek?" Then, decide to practice this positive, impactful activity on a regular and consistent basis from now on. Always remember the fabled race between the tortoise and the hare. The tortoise performed consistently while the hare started with an erratic mad dash followed by failure and defeat.
Success is not a product of having one great day. Instead, success is a product of doing something great every day.
This time of year as the weather lends itself toward outdoor activities, the emergency rooms of hospitals all across the country are filled with "weekend warriors." "Weekend warriors" are middle-aged, former, or would-be athletes who have decided to begin exercising again or take up where they left off in their sports career. Unfortunately, they see no need to ease back into physical activity. They believe that they can simply pick up where they left off when they were in high school.
Success in exercise, sports, or in our business and personal lives, comes from a long-term, consistent performance, not a short-term sprint.
We have all met the sales person who, for some reason, got short-term motivation and decides to break every record this week. For one or two days, he or she makes more sales calls than anyone has ever done. Unfortunately, by the third or fourth day, the short-term motivation has dwindled, and they are performing at their old mediocre level or, in some cases, even lower.
Success is not about what can you do today or even tomorrow. It is a matter of what can you do every day without fail from now on. Physical trainers tell us that it takes surprisingly little exercise to get or stay in shape if you will be absolutely consistent. The short-term bursts of activity do little other than promote injuries and a deflated ego. Investment experts tell us that the surest strategy to wealth-building is not to make an immediate killing in the market but, instead, to practice a systematic plan of savings and prudent investing.
Think of the things in your business or personal life you would like to improve. Ask yourself, "What single activity would create the improvement I seek?" Then, decide to practice this positive, impactful activity on a regular and consistent basis from now on. Always remember the fabled race between the tortoise and the hare. The tortoise performed consistently while the hare started with an erratic mad dash followed by failure and defeat.
Success is not a product of having one great day. Instead, success is a product of doing something great every day.
Handling Difficulties
Handling Difficulties
By Stanley F. Bronstei
Getting Started On A Difficult TaskTogether, we are embarking upon a path designed to help you identify your purpose in life. For some people, this task can be quite difficult. For others, it is fairly easy. Why has this most important task proven to be easier for some than for others? This is because some people refuse to let the mere fact that a task is difficult stop them from attempting and ultimately completing that task.Rather than calling such tasks difficult, I would prefer to call them complex.An Example of Something I Considered Difficult That Others Considered EasyPersonally, I feel I've tried to accomplish many things during my life, and I've been successful at quite a few of them. Of all the things I've accomplished, permanently losing all the weight I needed to lose has, by far, proven to be the most difficult for me. I'm sure there are people who have seen me over the years and could not understand how I allowed myself to get as overweight as I did. Many have probably also wondered why it took me so long to do something permanent about it.I've come to believe that the reason it took me so long was that I had always believed that permanently losing weight was difficult. It was only when I began to follow the advice of a very close childhood friend, that I was able to permanently do something about it. For more than 30 years, this friend told me that losing weight is simple, and that all it takes is eating less and exercising more. Once I stopped treating this task as if it was difficult, I realized that it really is as simple as my friend made it out to be. All I had to do was eat less and exercise more.An Example of Something I Considered Easy That Others Considered DifficultThere are many other things I've accomplished in my life that others see as having been quite difficult. Among these accomplishments was becoming both a CPA and an attorney. For four years, I went to law school while working full-time. Many acquaintances told me that going to school at night must be difficult, and that they could never do what I was doing.While it wasn't the easiest thing I ever did, it was not nearly as difficult as they were making it out to be. The difference between us was that I believed going to law school at night was not too difficult of a thing for me to accomplish, while they believed it was much too difficult for them to accomplish. In effect, I attempted something they thought was difficult, by treating it as if it was easy. That's why I was able to accomplish these professional goals, and why those who see it as too difficult of a task to attempt, never will.What Are You Capable of Accomplishing?You can accomplish whatever it is you want to accomplish, as long as you believe it is possible, and within the realm of what you are either willing to do, or what you believe you are capable of doing. As we work together, you will be doing many exercises and thinking about many things, some of which you may find difficult and some of which you may find easy.What you must remember is that you can accomplish anything, no matter how difficult, if you treat it as if it were easy. You must also remember that you can sabotage yourself and make it much harder to do things, even easy ones, if you treat them as if they were difficult. If you follow this advice, you will find you are capable of doing practically anything you can imagine.
By Stanley F. Bronstei
Getting Started On A Difficult TaskTogether, we are embarking upon a path designed to help you identify your purpose in life. For some people, this task can be quite difficult. For others, it is fairly easy. Why has this most important task proven to be easier for some than for others? This is because some people refuse to let the mere fact that a task is difficult stop them from attempting and ultimately completing that task.Rather than calling such tasks difficult, I would prefer to call them complex.An Example of Something I Considered Difficult That Others Considered EasyPersonally, I feel I've tried to accomplish many things during my life, and I've been successful at quite a few of them. Of all the things I've accomplished, permanently losing all the weight I needed to lose has, by far, proven to be the most difficult for me. I'm sure there are people who have seen me over the years and could not understand how I allowed myself to get as overweight as I did. Many have probably also wondered why it took me so long to do something permanent about it.I've come to believe that the reason it took me so long was that I had always believed that permanently losing weight was difficult. It was only when I began to follow the advice of a very close childhood friend, that I was able to permanently do something about it. For more than 30 years, this friend told me that losing weight is simple, and that all it takes is eating less and exercising more. Once I stopped treating this task as if it was difficult, I realized that it really is as simple as my friend made it out to be. All I had to do was eat less and exercise more.An Example of Something I Considered Easy That Others Considered DifficultThere are many other things I've accomplished in my life that others see as having been quite difficult. Among these accomplishments was becoming both a CPA and an attorney. For four years, I went to law school while working full-time. Many acquaintances told me that going to school at night must be difficult, and that they could never do what I was doing.While it wasn't the easiest thing I ever did, it was not nearly as difficult as they were making it out to be. The difference between us was that I believed going to law school at night was not too difficult of a thing for me to accomplish, while they believed it was much too difficult for them to accomplish. In effect, I attempted something they thought was difficult, by treating it as if it was easy. That's why I was able to accomplish these professional goals, and why those who see it as too difficult of a task to attempt, never will.What Are You Capable of Accomplishing?You can accomplish whatever it is you want to accomplish, as long as you believe it is possible, and within the realm of what you are either willing to do, or what you believe you are capable of doing. As we work together, you will be doing many exercises and thinking about many things, some of which you may find difficult and some of which you may find easy.What you must remember is that you can accomplish anything, no matter how difficult, if you treat it as if it were easy. You must also remember that you can sabotage yourself and make it much harder to do things, even easy ones, if you treat them as if they were difficult. If you follow this advice, you will find you are capable of doing practically anything you can imagine.
The "Best" Test
THE "BEST" TEST
I spoke to a group of salespeople some time ago as they kicked off their new team. It was exciting to see them get excited about making a difference through their work.
The topic they assigned me was "Simply the Best." So as I prepared, I asked myself, "What characteristics would help someone pass the "Best" test? That is, what are the characteristics of those who become the "best" at what they do?
Here are the thoughts I shared with them:
The Best are optimists. You can't get to the top if you don't think that there is a top or if you think you can't make it. One characteristic of those who reach the peak is that they always believe that things can get better or be done better. This pushes them on to be their best.
The Best have vision. They can see ahead of the pack. Their eyes aren't locked into the here and now. They see the bright future and what things will look like when they reach their destiny. While working hard for today, they live for the future! They do what Stephen Covey calls begin with the end in mind.The Best relentlessly pursue excellence. The status quo is not for them. They want to be the best and experience the best. And that means giving their best. They go the extra mile so that in everything they do, in everything they say and think, they are striving for excellence.
The Best have a life long habit of personal growth. They don't want to stay at the level they are at. They want to grow in their work, their intellect, their spirituality, their relationships, and in every area of their life. And they discipline themselves to put themselves in situations wherein they grow. Personal growth doesn't "just happen." You choose to grow. I always suggest what Zig Ziglar does and that is to enroll in "Automobile University." Whenever you are driving around, listen to a personal or professional growth tape or CD. Over the long run you will grow. Also, read more. The old saying is true: Leaders are readers. So are those who pass the "Best" test.
The Best understand that the will be pushed by the competition - and they welcome it. Like the lead runner in the race who has someone on his heels, the best know that the competition is right behind them. They love it though because they know that the competition keeps them from becoming lazy and resting on their laurels. Instead, the competition pushes them to go faster and to achieve more - to remain the best by forging ahead.
The Best have a quest for leadership. Someone has to lead - it may as well be the best! Those who attain it get there because they want to. They want to lead and help make a difference. And they want to be equipped with the skills necessary to lead others on to a better place.
The Best leave a legacy. They aren't in it just for themselves, though they will surely reap the rewards of being the best. Rather, the build things that last beyond themselves, things that can be enjoyed by others as well.
The Best are adept at the two most important pieces of time and personal management: Prioritize and execute. Just like weight loss boils down to eat right and exercise, personal management boils down to prioritize and execute. First, prioritize your activities. The important stuff goes on the top. Then, execute: do them. The best have habits and discipline that get them to the top by doing the best things and doing them first.
The Best focus on building relationships. Success does not come alone. Everyone who achieves much does it with the help of countless others. How do the Best get others to help them? They treat them right. They embrace them and help them. People become the best because they help other people, and people like them.
The Best make no excuses. When they fail they admit it and move on. They get back up and do it right the next time. They let their actions speak loader than their words. They stand tall and do the right thing the next time. No excuses, just results.
The Best understand that the good is the enemy of the best. Yes, they could say, "this is good." But that would mean they have settled for less than the best. Many people think that good is good. Good is not good. Good is the enemy because it keeps us from the best. Choose your side: the good or the best. The Best choose, you guessed it, the Best.
The Best Dare to Dream. While others live the mundane and settle into a life they never bargained for, a rut, the Best dream of a better life. And then they take the risks necessary to achieve their dreams. They live by Teddy Roosevelt's quote: Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs though checkered by failure, then to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the grey twilit that knows neither victory nor defeat.
Want to be the best at what you do? Take inventory on the above characteristics and then start moving to bring your life in line with the characteristics of the "best." Then when you get to the top you will know that you have passed the "Best" test.
I spoke to a group of salespeople some time ago as they kicked off their new team. It was exciting to see them get excited about making a difference through their work.
The topic they assigned me was "Simply the Best." So as I prepared, I asked myself, "What characteristics would help someone pass the "Best" test? That is, what are the characteristics of those who become the "best" at what they do?
Here are the thoughts I shared with them:
The Best are optimists. You can't get to the top if you don't think that there is a top or if you think you can't make it. One characteristic of those who reach the peak is that they always believe that things can get better or be done better. This pushes them on to be their best.
The Best have vision. They can see ahead of the pack. Their eyes aren't locked into the here and now. They see the bright future and what things will look like when they reach their destiny. While working hard for today, they live for the future! They do what Stephen Covey calls begin with the end in mind.The Best relentlessly pursue excellence. The status quo is not for them. They want to be the best and experience the best. And that means giving their best. They go the extra mile so that in everything they do, in everything they say and think, they are striving for excellence.
The Best have a life long habit of personal growth. They don't want to stay at the level they are at. They want to grow in their work, their intellect, their spirituality, their relationships, and in every area of their life. And they discipline themselves to put themselves in situations wherein they grow. Personal growth doesn't "just happen." You choose to grow. I always suggest what Zig Ziglar does and that is to enroll in "Automobile University." Whenever you are driving around, listen to a personal or professional growth tape or CD. Over the long run you will grow. Also, read more. The old saying is true: Leaders are readers. So are those who pass the "Best" test.
The Best understand that the will be pushed by the competition - and they welcome it. Like the lead runner in the race who has someone on his heels, the best know that the competition is right behind them. They love it though because they know that the competition keeps them from becoming lazy and resting on their laurels. Instead, the competition pushes them to go faster and to achieve more - to remain the best by forging ahead.
The Best have a quest for leadership. Someone has to lead - it may as well be the best! Those who attain it get there because they want to. They want to lead and help make a difference. And they want to be equipped with the skills necessary to lead others on to a better place.
The Best leave a legacy. They aren't in it just for themselves, though they will surely reap the rewards of being the best. Rather, the build things that last beyond themselves, things that can be enjoyed by others as well.
The Best are adept at the two most important pieces of time and personal management: Prioritize and execute. Just like weight loss boils down to eat right and exercise, personal management boils down to prioritize and execute. First, prioritize your activities. The important stuff goes on the top. Then, execute: do them. The best have habits and discipline that get them to the top by doing the best things and doing them first.
The Best focus on building relationships. Success does not come alone. Everyone who achieves much does it with the help of countless others. How do the Best get others to help them? They treat them right. They embrace them and help them. People become the best because they help other people, and people like them.
The Best make no excuses. When they fail they admit it and move on. They get back up and do it right the next time. They let their actions speak loader than their words. They stand tall and do the right thing the next time. No excuses, just results.
The Best understand that the good is the enemy of the best. Yes, they could say, "this is good." But that would mean they have settled for less than the best. Many people think that good is good. Good is not good. Good is the enemy because it keeps us from the best. Choose your side: the good or the best. The Best choose, you guessed it, the Best.
The Best Dare to Dream. While others live the mundane and settle into a life they never bargained for, a rut, the Best dream of a better life. And then they take the risks necessary to achieve their dreams. They live by Teddy Roosevelt's quote: Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs though checkered by failure, then to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much because they live in the grey twilit that knows neither victory nor defeat.
Want to be the best at what you do? Take inventory on the above characteristics and then start moving to bring your life in line with the characteristics of the "best." Then when you get to the top you will know that you have passed the "Best" test.
Geese Foramtion and team work
How's this for some Introspection!!! :
In the fall when you see geese heading south for the winter flying along in the "V" formation, you might be interested in knowing what science has discovered about why they fly that way. It has been learned that as each bird flaps its wings, it creates uplift for the bird immediately following. By flying in a "V" formation, the whole flock adds at least 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own.
People who are part of a team and share a common direction get where they are going quicker and easier, because they are travelling on the trust of one another and lift each other up along the way.
***********************************************************Whenever a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go through it alone and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the power of the flock.
If we have as much sense as a goose, we will stay in formation and share information with those who are headed the same way that we are going.
***********************************************************When the lead goose gets tired, he rotates back in the wing and another goose takes over.
It pays to share leadership and take turns doing hard jobs.
**********************************************************************The geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep their speed.
Words of support and inspiration help energize those on the front line, helping them to keep pace in spite of the day-to-day pressures and fatigue. It is important that our honking be encouraging. Otherwise it’s just – well honking!
**********************************************************************Finally, when a goose gets sick or is wounded by a gunshot and falls out, two geese fall out of the formation and follow the injured one down to help and protect him. They stay with him until he is either able to fly or until he is dead, and then they launch out with anotherformation to catch up with their group.
When one of us is down, it’s up to the others to stand by us in our time of trouble. If we have the sense of a goose, we will stand by each other when things get rough. We will stay in formation with those headed where we want to go.
***************************************The next time you see a formation of geese, remember...
IT IS A REWARD, A CHALLENGE AND A PRIVILEGE to be a contributing member of a TEAM.
In the fall when you see geese heading south for the winter flying along in the "V" formation, you might be interested in knowing what science has discovered about why they fly that way. It has been learned that as each bird flaps its wings, it creates uplift for the bird immediately following. By flying in a "V" formation, the whole flock adds at least 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own.
People who are part of a team and share a common direction get where they are going quicker and easier, because they are travelling on the trust of one another and lift each other up along the way.
***********************************************************Whenever a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go through it alone and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the power of the flock.
If we have as much sense as a goose, we will stay in formation and share information with those who are headed the same way that we are going.
***********************************************************When the lead goose gets tired, he rotates back in the wing and another goose takes over.
It pays to share leadership and take turns doing hard jobs.
**********************************************************************The geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep their speed.
Words of support and inspiration help energize those on the front line, helping them to keep pace in spite of the day-to-day pressures and fatigue. It is important that our honking be encouraging. Otherwise it’s just – well honking!
**********************************************************************Finally, when a goose gets sick or is wounded by a gunshot and falls out, two geese fall out of the formation and follow the injured one down to help and protect him. They stay with him until he is either able to fly or until he is dead, and then they launch out with anotherformation to catch up with their group.
When one of us is down, it’s up to the others to stand by us in our time of trouble. If we have the sense of a goose, we will stand by each other when things get rough. We will stay in formation with those headed where we want to go.
***************************************The next time you see a formation of geese, remember...
IT IS A REWARD, A CHALLENGE AND A PRIVILEGE to be a contributing member of a TEAM.
Learning Resources at Home
Set Up a Learning Resource at Home and Your Place of Business with Both Personal and Professional Development Materials
by Denis Waitley
Every office conference, lunch, exercise, and recreation room should be filled with personal enrichment materials including videos, audios, books, magazines, newsletters, software, TV and internet programming.
Convert a special area of your home into a learning center, especially if you have children. The trend globally is to combine a coffee house like Starbucks, with bookstores like Barnes and Noble, to create a relaxing learning environment. In the twenty-first century, gaining knowledge will blend into our lives as part of our leisure time. There are several ways to create more of an ongoing learning environment at your place of business. Many companies are providing TV and internet access to personal development programming, asking employees to volunteer to read a specific trade or business magazine and clip or scan articles relevant to the organization. Regular e-mail dispersals are also popular.
In today's fast-forward, knowledge-based world, if you're not moving ahead you are falling behind.
Action Idea: Make two files in your computer: one for personal development and one for professional development. Download MP3 files, articles and e-mails that educate and inspire you in these files. You also can scan articles from magazines into these files. Look at these files at least once per week.
Also subscribe to internet based or TV based personal development programming, purchase CDs, DVDs and books for your personal and professional development library. Denis Waitley
by Denis Waitley
Every office conference, lunch, exercise, and recreation room should be filled with personal enrichment materials including videos, audios, books, magazines, newsletters, software, TV and internet programming.
Convert a special area of your home into a learning center, especially if you have children. The trend globally is to combine a coffee house like Starbucks, with bookstores like Barnes and Noble, to create a relaxing learning environment. In the twenty-first century, gaining knowledge will blend into our lives as part of our leisure time. There are several ways to create more of an ongoing learning environment at your place of business. Many companies are providing TV and internet access to personal development programming, asking employees to volunteer to read a specific trade or business magazine and clip or scan articles relevant to the organization. Regular e-mail dispersals are also popular.
In today's fast-forward, knowledge-based world, if you're not moving ahead you are falling behind.
Action Idea: Make two files in your computer: one for personal development and one for professional development. Download MP3 files, articles and e-mails that educate and inspire you in these files. You also can scan articles from magazines into these files. Look at these files at least once per week.
Also subscribe to internet based or TV based personal development programming, purchase CDs, DVDs and books for your personal and professional development library. Denis Waitley
The Richest Man in Babylon
The Richest Man in Babylon
This Plan Includeth Three Purposes, Which Are My Hope And Desire:
1st The Plan Doth Provide For My Future Prosperity
Therefore 10% Of All I Earn Shall Be Set Aside As Mine To Keep.
2nd 70% Of All I Earn Shall Be Used To Provide A Home, Cloths To Wear And Food To Eat, With A Little Bit Extra To Spend.
3rd 20% Of All I Earn Shall Be Divided Honorably And Fairly Among Whose Whom I Am Indebted.
This Plan Includeth Three Purposes, Which Are My Hope And Desire:
1st The Plan Doth Provide For My Future Prosperity
Therefore 10% Of All I Earn Shall Be Set Aside As Mine To Keep.
2nd 70% Of All I Earn Shall Be Used To Provide A Home, Cloths To Wear And Food To Eat, With A Little Bit Extra To Spend.
3rd 20% Of All I Earn Shall Be Divided Honorably And Fairly Among Whose Whom I Am Indebted.
The Awakening
The Awakening
A time comes in your life when you finally get it... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening.You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that neither of you is Prince Charming or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you... and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself... and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself... and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties.... and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents, family, and friends.You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away.You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. And you learn that alone does not mean lonely. You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK.... and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want... and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve... and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone...and that it's OK to risk asking for help. You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron of all: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes-bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things.You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state-the ego.You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire.And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.
A time comes in your life when you finally get it... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening.You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that neither of you is Prince Charming or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you... and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself... and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself... and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties.... and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents, family, and friends.You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away.You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. And you learn that alone does not mean lonely. You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK.... and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want... and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve... and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone...and that it's OK to risk asking for help. You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron of all: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes-bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things.You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state-the ego.You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire.And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.
The Law of attraction
The Law of Attraction
by Brian Tracy
You are a living magnet; you invariably attract into your life the people, situations and circumstances that are in harmony with your dominant thoughts.
This is one of the great laws that explain much of success and failure in business and personal life. It has been written about as far back as the ancient Egyptian mystery schools, 3000 years before Christ. It is so powerful, pervasive and all encompassing that it affects everything you do or say, or even think or feel.
Everything you have in your life, you have attracted to yourself because of the way you think, because of the person you are. You can change your life because you can change the way you think. You can change the person you are.
You have heard it said, "Birds of a feather flock together." "Like attracts like." "Whatever you want, wants you." These are ways of expressing the Law of Attraction.
Your thoughts are extremely powerful. They are a form of mental energy that travels at the speed of light. They are so fine that they can go through any barrier. This is why, for example, you can think about a person, sometimes at a great distance, and in the next moment, the phone will ring and that person will be on the line. Your thoughts have connected with that person the moment you thought them.
Companies develop products, processes, services and ways of doing business that attract an entire constellation of customers, employees, suppliers, financiers and circumstances that are in harmony with the dominant thinking of the organization. It is as though every human ingredient inside and outside of the organization is a musical instrument. Together, they make up a great symphony. They are all playing together and creating a form of music that constitutes the activities of your business and your life.
Whenever things are not going well in any organization, the fastest way to bring about change is to bring in a new person who changes the way people think and feel about themselves and what they are doing. New values, new visions, new strategies and new policies toward customers and toward each other bring about rapid and often dramatic change.
Brian Tracy
by Brian Tracy
You are a living magnet; you invariably attract into your life the people, situations and circumstances that are in harmony with your dominant thoughts.
This is one of the great laws that explain much of success and failure in business and personal life. It has been written about as far back as the ancient Egyptian mystery schools, 3000 years before Christ. It is so powerful, pervasive and all encompassing that it affects everything you do or say, or even think or feel.
Everything you have in your life, you have attracted to yourself because of the way you think, because of the person you are. You can change your life because you can change the way you think. You can change the person you are.
You have heard it said, "Birds of a feather flock together." "Like attracts like." "Whatever you want, wants you." These are ways of expressing the Law of Attraction.
Your thoughts are extremely powerful. They are a form of mental energy that travels at the speed of light. They are so fine that they can go through any barrier. This is why, for example, you can think about a person, sometimes at a great distance, and in the next moment, the phone will ring and that person will be on the line. Your thoughts have connected with that person the moment you thought them.
Companies develop products, processes, services and ways of doing business that attract an entire constellation of customers, employees, suppliers, financiers and circumstances that are in harmony with the dominant thinking of the organization. It is as though every human ingredient inside and outside of the organization is a musical instrument. Together, they make up a great symphony. They are all playing together and creating a form of music that constitutes the activities of your business and your life.
Whenever things are not going well in any organization, the fastest way to bring about change is to bring in a new person who changes the way people think and feel about themselves and what they are doing. New values, new visions, new strategies and new policies toward customers and toward each other bring about rapid and often dramatic change.
Brian Tracy
Advice from Dad
Advice from my Dad for Father's Day
by Harvey MacKay
There's an English proverb that goes: "One father is worth more than a hundred schoolmasters."
Fathers can teach their children many important lessons. Father's Day is Sunday, June 15, and it brings to mind some of the valuable lessons I learned from my father, Jack Mackay. I've shared many of them with you in my books and columns, but here they are, in one nice package, for the 64.3 million fathers out there.
My dad headed the Associated Press in St. Paul, Minn., for many years. He lived by deadlines. When he told his 10-year-old fishing partner, "Be at the dock at 7:30 a.m." and I arrived at 7:35, I would be holding my fishing pole in one hand and waving bon voyage with the other. Time management 101.
When I began my career selling envelopes, I asked my father how I could make twice as much money as my fellow sales reps.
He asked me how many sales calls my peers made every day. I told him that everyone made about five calls a day, and I could match them call for call.
"No good," he said. "Do what they do and you'll make what they make. Figure out how you can get to 10 calls a day and your income will double."
We worked out a game plan, which became a life plan. I learned when the buyers were in the office and worked according to their schedules, which sometimes meant anytime from 6 a.m.-8 p.m. and Saturday mornings. I quit making cold calls, was among the first to get a cell phone and learned many other time management tips from my father.
TRUST is the most important five-letter word in business and in life. When I was only eight years old, he said: "Son, would you like to learn a lesson that might save your life some day?"
"Sure I would, Dad," I answered.
"Just slide down the banister and I'll catch you," he urged.
I slid ... and landed on the carpet. As I dusted myself off, he announced, "Never trust anyone completely. Keep your eyes open and your wits about you."
Similarly, my father encouraged me at a young age to keep track of all the people I met on Rolodex cards, now on my computer. He was a master networker. He knew where to get stories, much like I learned where to get sales.
Maybe the most important lesson my father taught me was that your best network will develop from what you do best. In my case that was golf. When I joined the sales game after college, where I had been a varsity golfer at the University of Minnesota, my father suggested I join Oak Ridge Country Club, which I couldn't afford. Because Oak Ridge was historically at the bottom of the city golf league, I offered to play for them and try to win them a championship. Six months and numerous meetings later, I was admitted to the club where I gained access to many of the major companies around town.
My father also taught me that the big name on the door doesn't mean diddly. You have to know who the decision makers are.
In addition, he warned me against telling anyone how I vote. That's why it's a secret ballet. The Democrats think I'm a Republican, and the Republicans believe I'm a Democrat.
My father's greatest professional attribute was his nose for a good story and his indefatigable zeal in getting it. He taught me the same desire, determination and persistence for sales.
After a skiing accident that landed me in the hospital for 35 days in neck traction, he told me, "You can take any amount of pain as long as you know it's going to end."
My father taught me many more life lessons, among them:
They don't pay off on effort . . . they pay off on results.
No one ever choked to death swallowing his pride.
He who burns his bridges better be a damn good swimmer.
Education is like exercise. As soon as you quit you begin to lose the benefits.
It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're dressed like a turkey.
If you win say little. If you lose say less.
We are judged by what we finish, not by what we start.
by Harvey MacKay
There's an English proverb that goes: "One father is worth more than a hundred schoolmasters."
Fathers can teach their children many important lessons. Father's Day is Sunday, June 15, and it brings to mind some of the valuable lessons I learned from my father, Jack Mackay. I've shared many of them with you in my books and columns, but here they are, in one nice package, for the 64.3 million fathers out there.
My dad headed the Associated Press in St. Paul, Minn., for many years. He lived by deadlines. When he told his 10-year-old fishing partner, "Be at the dock at 7:30 a.m." and I arrived at 7:35, I would be holding my fishing pole in one hand and waving bon voyage with the other. Time management 101.
When I began my career selling envelopes, I asked my father how I could make twice as much money as my fellow sales reps.
He asked me how many sales calls my peers made every day. I told him that everyone made about five calls a day, and I could match them call for call.
"No good," he said. "Do what they do and you'll make what they make. Figure out how you can get to 10 calls a day and your income will double."
We worked out a game plan, which became a life plan. I learned when the buyers were in the office and worked according to their schedules, which sometimes meant anytime from 6 a.m.-8 p.m. and Saturday mornings. I quit making cold calls, was among the first to get a cell phone and learned many other time management tips from my father.
TRUST is the most important five-letter word in business and in life. When I was only eight years old, he said: "Son, would you like to learn a lesson that might save your life some day?"
"Sure I would, Dad," I answered.
"Just slide down the banister and I'll catch you," he urged.
I slid ... and landed on the carpet. As I dusted myself off, he announced, "Never trust anyone completely. Keep your eyes open and your wits about you."
Similarly, my father encouraged me at a young age to keep track of all the people I met on Rolodex cards, now on my computer. He was a master networker. He knew where to get stories, much like I learned where to get sales.
Maybe the most important lesson my father taught me was that your best network will develop from what you do best. In my case that was golf. When I joined the sales game after college, where I had been a varsity golfer at the University of Minnesota, my father suggested I join Oak Ridge Country Club, which I couldn't afford. Because Oak Ridge was historically at the bottom of the city golf league, I offered to play for them and try to win them a championship. Six months and numerous meetings later, I was admitted to the club where I gained access to many of the major companies around town.
My father also taught me that the big name on the door doesn't mean diddly. You have to know who the decision makers are.
In addition, he warned me against telling anyone how I vote. That's why it's a secret ballet. The Democrats think I'm a Republican, and the Republicans believe I'm a Democrat.
My father's greatest professional attribute was his nose for a good story and his indefatigable zeal in getting it. He taught me the same desire, determination and persistence for sales.
After a skiing accident that landed me in the hospital for 35 days in neck traction, he told me, "You can take any amount of pain as long as you know it's going to end."
My father taught me many more life lessons, among them:
They don't pay off on effort . . . they pay off on results.
No one ever choked to death swallowing his pride.
He who burns his bridges better be a damn good swimmer.
Education is like exercise. As soon as you quit you begin to lose the benefits.
It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're dressed like a turkey.
If you win say little. If you lose say less.
We are judged by what we finish, not by what we start.
Credibility
CREDIBILITY
"What is powerful is when what you say is just the tip of the iceberg of what you know." -- Jim Rohn
"It takes a lot of things to prove you are smart, but only one thing to prove you are ignorant." -- Don Herold
"Dress for success. Image is very important. People judge you by the way you look on the outside." -- Brian Tracy
"Create a story of WOW that will be retold." -- Jeffrey Gitomer
DECIDE/DECISION
"Each indecision brings its own delays and days are lost lamenting over lost days... What you can do or think you can do, begin it. For boldness has magic, power, and genius in it." -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
"People begin to become successful the minute they decide to be." -- Harvey Mackay
"Choice determines direction...Decision determines destiny...." -- Doug Firebaugh
"Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides." -- Margaret Thatcher
DESIRE/MOTIVATION
"Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything." -- Napoleon Hill
"The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a man's determination." -- Tommy Lasorda
"When you know what you want, and you want it bad enough, you will find a way to get it." -- Jim Rohn
"Whatever you want wants you even more than you want it." -- Mark Victor Hansen
"What is powerful is when what you say is just the tip of the iceberg of what you know." -- Jim Rohn
"It takes a lot of things to prove you are smart, but only one thing to prove you are ignorant." -- Don Herold
"Dress for success. Image is very important. People judge you by the way you look on the outside." -- Brian Tracy
"Create a story of WOW that will be retold." -- Jeffrey Gitomer
DECIDE/DECISION
"Each indecision brings its own delays and days are lost lamenting over lost days... What you can do or think you can do, begin it. For boldness has magic, power, and genius in it." -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
"People begin to become successful the minute they decide to be." -- Harvey Mackay
"Choice determines direction...Decision determines destiny...." -- Doug Firebaugh
"Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides." -- Margaret Thatcher
DESIRE/MOTIVATION
"Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything." -- Napoleon Hill
"The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a man's determination." -- Tommy Lasorda
"When you know what you want, and you want it bad enough, you will find a way to get it." -- Jim Rohn
"Whatever you want wants you even more than you want it." -- Mark Victor Hansen
The Choices we face
The Choices We Face
by Jim Rohn
Each of us has two distinct choices to make about what we will do with our lives. The first choice we can make is to be less than we have the capacity to be. To earn less. To have less. To read less and think less. To try less and discipline ourselves less. These are the choices that lead to an empty life. These are the choices that, once made, lead to a life of constant apprehension instead of a life of wondrous anticipation.
And the second choice? To do it all! To become all that we can possibly be. To read every book that we possibly can. To earn as much as we possibly can. To give and share as much as we possibly can. To strive and produce and accomplish as much as we possibly can. All of us have the choice.
To do or not to do. To be or not to be. To be all or to be less or to be nothing at all.
Like the tree, it would be a worthy challenge for us all to stretch upward and outward to the full measure of our capabilities. Why not do all that we can, every moment that we can, the best that we can, for as long as we can?
Our ultimate life objective should be to create as much as our talent and ability and desire will permit. To settle for doing less than we could do is to fail in this worthiest of undertakings.
Results are the best measurement of human progress. Not conversation. Not explanation. Not justification. Results! And if our results are less than our potential suggests that they should be, then we must strive to become more today than we were the day before. The greatest rewards are always reserved for those who bring great value to themselves and the world around them as a result of whom and what they have become.
To Your Success,Jim Rohn
by Jim Rohn
Each of us has two distinct choices to make about what we will do with our lives. The first choice we can make is to be less than we have the capacity to be. To earn less. To have less. To read less and think less. To try less and discipline ourselves less. These are the choices that lead to an empty life. These are the choices that, once made, lead to a life of constant apprehension instead of a life of wondrous anticipation.
And the second choice? To do it all! To become all that we can possibly be. To read every book that we possibly can. To earn as much as we possibly can. To give and share as much as we possibly can. To strive and produce and accomplish as much as we possibly can. All of us have the choice.
To do or not to do. To be or not to be. To be all or to be less or to be nothing at all.
Like the tree, it would be a worthy challenge for us all to stretch upward and outward to the full measure of our capabilities. Why not do all that we can, every moment that we can, the best that we can, for as long as we can?
Our ultimate life objective should be to create as much as our talent and ability and desire will permit. To settle for doing less than we could do is to fail in this worthiest of undertakings.
Results are the best measurement of human progress. Not conversation. Not explanation. Not justification. Results! And if our results are less than our potential suggests that they should be, then we must strive to become more today than we were the day before. The greatest rewards are always reserved for those who bring great value to themselves and the world around them as a result of whom and what they have become.
To Your Success,Jim Rohn
Result
RESULTS
At the end of each day, you should play back the tapes of your performance. The results should either applaud you or prod you.
The greatest form of maturity is at harvest time. This is when we must learn how to reap without complaint if the amounts are small and how to reap without apology if the amounts are big.
Life asks us to make measurable progress in reasonable time. That's why they make those fourth grade chairs so small – so you won't fit in them at age twenty-five!
There are some things you don't have to know how it works - only that it works. While some people are studying the roots, others are picking the fruit. It just depends on which end of this you want to get in on.
At the end of each day, you should play back the tapes of your performance. The results should either applaud you or prod you.
The greatest form of maturity is at harvest time. This is when we must learn how to reap without complaint if the amounts are small and how to reap without apology if the amounts are big.
Life asks us to make measurable progress in reasonable time. That's why they make those fourth grade chairs so small – so you won't fit in them at age twenty-five!
There are some things you don't have to know how it works - only that it works. While some people are studying the roots, others are picking the fruit. It just depends on which end of this you want to get in on.
Change your Thinking
Change Your Thinking
It will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking. Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.
Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene
One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.Days, weeks and months passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.
She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed. It faced a blank wall.The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.' Epilogue: There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present.'
It will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking. Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.
Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene
One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.Days, weeks and months passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.
She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed. It faced a blank wall.The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.' Epilogue: There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.'Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present.'
Activity / Labor
ACTIVITY/LABOR
"Don't wait for mentors to seek you out. Don't ever wait for your phone calls to be returned, your letters to be answered, your faxes to be responded to. Keep going out and asking questions." -- Denis Waitley
"Success is dependent upon the glands--sweat glands." -- Zig Ziglar
"Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action." -- Benjamin Disraeli
"Without constant activity, the threats of life will soon overwhelm the values." -- Jim Rohn
ADVENTURE
"Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." -- Helen Keller
"It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end." -- Ursula Le Guin
"Never forget that life can only be noble inspired and rightly lived if you take it bravely and gallantly, as a splendid adventure in which you are setting out into an unknown country, to face many a danger, to meet many a joy, to find many a comrade, to win and lose many a battle." -- Annie Besant "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious." -- Albert Einstein
ASKING
"When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'" -- Sydney J. Harris
"Before beginning a hunt, it is wise to ask someone what you are looking for before you begin looking for it." -- Winnie the Pooh
"Ask for the job you want. Ask for the salary you want. Ask for the responsibilities you want." -- Brian Tracy
"When you take charge of your life, there is no longer need to ask permission of other people or society at large. When you ask permission, you give someone veto power over your life." -- Albert F. Geoffrey
"Don't wait for mentors to seek you out. Don't ever wait for your phone calls to be returned, your letters to be answered, your faxes to be responded to. Keep going out and asking questions." -- Denis Waitley
"Success is dependent upon the glands--sweat glands." -- Zig Ziglar
"Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action." -- Benjamin Disraeli
"Without constant activity, the threats of life will soon overwhelm the values." -- Jim Rohn
ADVENTURE
"Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." -- Helen Keller
"It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end." -- Ursula Le Guin
"Never forget that life can only be noble inspired and rightly lived if you take it bravely and gallantly, as a splendid adventure in which you are setting out into an unknown country, to face many a danger, to meet many a joy, to find many a comrade, to win and lose many a battle." -- Annie Besant "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious." -- Albert Einstein
ASKING
"When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'" -- Sydney J. Harris
"Before beginning a hunt, it is wise to ask someone what you are looking for before you begin looking for it." -- Winnie the Pooh
"Ask for the job you want. Ask for the salary you want. Ask for the responsibilities you want." -- Brian Tracy
"When you take charge of your life, there is no longer need to ask permission of other people or society at large. When you ask permission, you give someone veto power over your life." -- Albert F. Geoffrey
Motivating Yourself
Motivating Yourself - How Do You Look at Challenges?
If you are feeling unmotivated lately, you're not alone. Many people are having a harder time being self-motivated. Managers and team leaders have less time to motivate the people who work with them. Anxiety levels are high, tempers are short, and few people are as focused and productive as they want to be. There are many reasons to feel unmotivated right now. Economic uncertainty is high on the list. Layoffs, overstated earnings reports, industries in crisis, every day there are stories in the news that cause us worry.
Most of us relate to news about the economy based on our perspective as someone who is:
Employed, but uncertain about future job security.
Secure in your job, but feeling overworked.
Un-employed or under-employed.
Regardless of which category you fall in to, the current economic climate creates a very challenging time in which to try to stay motivated, but staying motivated is crucial to our personal job security. The employed can't afford to succumb to malaise. Most have to stay ahead of an ever-increasing workload in order to prove their value to their organizations. The un-employed and under-employed need to keep motivated in order to find steady work.
There are many things you can do to keep yourself motivated during uncertain times. One of the most important is to reframe your perceptions of the challenges we face.
Challenges as Opportunities
How many times have you heard this statement?: "Let's not think of this as a challenge. Let's consider it an opportunity." Sometimes you should view challenges as opportunities, but, if you are like me, you probably feel like you have had more "opportunities" in the past couple of years than you can stand. Most of the time, when you are right in the middle of it, a challenge feels like … well … a challenge, a pain in the neck, something to get through.
When this is the case, then go ahead and simply get through it. Don't listen to the excuses of that procrastinating (or critical) little voice in your head. Break the challenge into manageable pieces, find little ways to reward yourself as you complete each piece, and keep your perspective throughout.
When the challenge has passed look for two things: lessons learned and successes achieved.
Lessons Learned
When you don't meet a particular challenge in a way that makes you proud, ask yourself, "What can I learn from this that will help me grow?" For myself, I'm in a position of leadership in my professional association. Although I try to do my best, my performance isn't always stellar. My leadership gaffes, on occasion, have included dumping projects on people instead of delegating them, praising one person and inadvertently upsetting another, and failing to use all the resources available to me.
While I've tried to look at each of these situations to see what I can do to correct the problem, I've also tried to find the management lesson in each. Look for the lesson. It's a more motivating perspective than focusing on your short-comings and can help you rise to similar challenges more effectively in the future.
Successes Achieved
Sometimes you come through a challenge with a huge success. Other times the success seems insignificant, but it's a success nonetheless. When you achieve a success of any size, what do you do? If you are like most people, you ignore it. Big mistake!
To motivate yourself, you have to be willing to recognize yourself. In my book, Make Their Day! Employee Recognition That Works, an entire chapter is devoted to self-recognition. Self-recognition is a very powerful but under-used tool.
A few organizations do an excellent job of encouraging self-recognition. Some companies ask their people to do formal presentations showing off their successes. It's just one of the ways they are encouraged to recognize themselves.
If you are like most people, you don't have many formal opportunities for self-recognition. That doesn't mean you can't recognize yourself anyway. Tell others about your accomplishments. There is nothing wrong with announcing in your team meeting, "I'm happy to report I have finished my certification training," or telling a friend, "Wow, that was a difficult job interview, but I think I presented myself well."
Look for other, more subtle ways to recognize yourself. For instance, you can recognize your value and potential by providing yourself with opportunities to learn and grow. When your employer provides the training you want, don't you feel they are recognizing your value to the organization? You do the same thing when you invest in your own training.
Keep a journal of your accomplishments. If you are feeling particularly unmotivated, force yourself to note at least one success every day. It doesn't have to be huge. Every success is noteworthy. It might be nothing more than connecting with two people in your network or cleaning off your desk.
The important thing is that you note something. At the end of the week, go back and review what you have written. Forcing yourself to identify your successes is motivating. So is rereading past successes. They can build up your confidence when you need it most.
When reviewing a challenge that you have just completed, resist the urge to focus on what went wrong. Instead, look for the lessons learned and the successes achieved. You'll feel better prepared to take on the next "opportunity" that comes your way.
Tips for Motivating Yourself
Get a friend or colleague who will hold you accountable. If you know someone will be asking you about your progress, it can motivate you to have something to report.
Break tasks into manageable pieces. Big challenges can appear less daunting when you separate them into smaller tasks.
Do a little analysis. If there is a particular challenge that you are avoiding, see if you can't figure out what is holding you back. It might give you greater perspective on how to proceed. Just don't get caught by analysis paralysis!
Look for the lessons. When things don't go exactly as you planned, don't beat yourself up thinking what you should have done differently. Ask yourself what can learn from the experience, but remember to look forward, not backwards as you review your performance.
Reward yourself. As you complete each task, reward yourself. When you meet the challenge, think big!
Find some way to celebrate your success.
Make It A Great Week !
To Thine Ownself Be True
If you are feeling unmotivated lately, you're not alone. Many people are having a harder time being self-motivated. Managers and team leaders have less time to motivate the people who work with them. Anxiety levels are high, tempers are short, and few people are as focused and productive as they want to be. There are many reasons to feel unmotivated right now. Economic uncertainty is high on the list. Layoffs, overstated earnings reports, industries in crisis, every day there are stories in the news that cause us worry.
Most of us relate to news about the economy based on our perspective as someone who is:
Employed, but uncertain about future job security.
Secure in your job, but feeling overworked.
Un-employed or under-employed.
Regardless of which category you fall in to, the current economic climate creates a very challenging time in which to try to stay motivated, but staying motivated is crucial to our personal job security. The employed can't afford to succumb to malaise. Most have to stay ahead of an ever-increasing workload in order to prove their value to their organizations. The un-employed and under-employed need to keep motivated in order to find steady work.
There are many things you can do to keep yourself motivated during uncertain times. One of the most important is to reframe your perceptions of the challenges we face.
Challenges as Opportunities
How many times have you heard this statement?: "Let's not think of this as a challenge. Let's consider it an opportunity." Sometimes you should view challenges as opportunities, but, if you are like me, you probably feel like you have had more "opportunities" in the past couple of years than you can stand. Most of the time, when you are right in the middle of it, a challenge feels like … well … a challenge, a pain in the neck, something to get through.
When this is the case, then go ahead and simply get through it. Don't listen to the excuses of that procrastinating (or critical) little voice in your head. Break the challenge into manageable pieces, find little ways to reward yourself as you complete each piece, and keep your perspective throughout.
When the challenge has passed look for two things: lessons learned and successes achieved.
Lessons Learned
When you don't meet a particular challenge in a way that makes you proud, ask yourself, "What can I learn from this that will help me grow?" For myself, I'm in a position of leadership in my professional association. Although I try to do my best, my performance isn't always stellar. My leadership gaffes, on occasion, have included dumping projects on people instead of delegating them, praising one person and inadvertently upsetting another, and failing to use all the resources available to me.
While I've tried to look at each of these situations to see what I can do to correct the problem, I've also tried to find the management lesson in each. Look for the lesson. It's a more motivating perspective than focusing on your short-comings and can help you rise to similar challenges more effectively in the future.
Successes Achieved
Sometimes you come through a challenge with a huge success. Other times the success seems insignificant, but it's a success nonetheless. When you achieve a success of any size, what do you do? If you are like most people, you ignore it. Big mistake!
To motivate yourself, you have to be willing to recognize yourself. In my book, Make Their Day! Employee Recognition That Works, an entire chapter is devoted to self-recognition. Self-recognition is a very powerful but under-used tool.
A few organizations do an excellent job of encouraging self-recognition. Some companies ask their people to do formal presentations showing off their successes. It's just one of the ways they are encouraged to recognize themselves.
If you are like most people, you don't have many formal opportunities for self-recognition. That doesn't mean you can't recognize yourself anyway. Tell others about your accomplishments. There is nothing wrong with announcing in your team meeting, "I'm happy to report I have finished my certification training," or telling a friend, "Wow, that was a difficult job interview, but I think I presented myself well."
Look for other, more subtle ways to recognize yourself. For instance, you can recognize your value and potential by providing yourself with opportunities to learn and grow. When your employer provides the training you want, don't you feel they are recognizing your value to the organization? You do the same thing when you invest in your own training.
Keep a journal of your accomplishments. If you are feeling particularly unmotivated, force yourself to note at least one success every day. It doesn't have to be huge. Every success is noteworthy. It might be nothing more than connecting with two people in your network or cleaning off your desk.
The important thing is that you note something. At the end of the week, go back and review what you have written. Forcing yourself to identify your successes is motivating. So is rereading past successes. They can build up your confidence when you need it most.
When reviewing a challenge that you have just completed, resist the urge to focus on what went wrong. Instead, look for the lessons learned and the successes achieved. You'll feel better prepared to take on the next "opportunity" that comes your way.
Tips for Motivating Yourself
Get a friend or colleague who will hold you accountable. If you know someone will be asking you about your progress, it can motivate you to have something to report.
Break tasks into manageable pieces. Big challenges can appear less daunting when you separate them into smaller tasks.
Do a little analysis. If there is a particular challenge that you are avoiding, see if you can't figure out what is holding you back. It might give you greater perspective on how to proceed. Just don't get caught by analysis paralysis!
Look for the lessons. When things don't go exactly as you planned, don't beat yourself up thinking what you should have done differently. Ask yourself what can learn from the experience, but remember to look forward, not backwards as you review your performance.
Reward yourself. As you complete each task, reward yourself. When you meet the challenge, think big!
Find some way to celebrate your success.
Make It A Great Week !
To Thine Ownself Be True
Mark Twain
Work Like You Don't Need The Money.
Love Like You've Never Been Hurt.
Dance Like Nobody Is Watching.
Mark Twain
Love Like You've Never Been Hurt.
Dance Like Nobody Is Watching.
Mark Twain
Take The Responsibility
Take The Responsibility
by Vic Johnson
"A person is buffeted by circumstances so long as he believes himself to be the creature of outside conditions." - As A Man Thinketh
One of the great weaknesses of our society today is the growing attitude of victimization. Many people claim themselves to be victims of some outside force. "I had to file bankruptcy because of my ex-wife…", "If my company hadn't laid me off…", "If that driver hadn't pulled out in front of me…"
When we are victims of circumstances, or as James Allen says, a "creature of outside conditions", we have no power. We have given over the power in our life to the circumstances. The longer we give power to our circumstances the worse or circumstances become.
In his book, "Above Life's Turmoil", Allen writes, "You imagine your circumstances as being separate from yourself, but they are intimately related to your thought world. Nothing appears without an adequate cause."
To get control of our circumstances we must first acknowledge personal responsibility for being where we are. That was the hardest part for me because the "victim" in all of us doesn't want to take that responsibility.
When we take the responsibility we must then take control of our thoughts. And, yes, in the beginning that can be hard. It seems sometimes that it's our nature to first think negatively. But that's just because it's the habit we´ve developed. And like any habit, it can be changed by replacing it with the habit of thinking the right way.
One of my favorite teachers, Emmet Fox, writes: "You are not happy because you are well. You are well because you are happy. You are not depressed because trouble has come to you, but trouble has come because you were depressed. You can change your thoughts and feelings, and then the outer things will change to correspond, and indeed there is no other way of working."
And that´s worth thinking about.Vic Johnson
by Vic Johnson
"A person is buffeted by circumstances so long as he believes himself to be the creature of outside conditions." - As A Man Thinketh
One of the great weaknesses of our society today is the growing attitude of victimization. Many people claim themselves to be victims of some outside force. "I had to file bankruptcy because of my ex-wife…", "If my company hadn't laid me off…", "If that driver hadn't pulled out in front of me…"
When we are victims of circumstances, or as James Allen says, a "creature of outside conditions", we have no power. We have given over the power in our life to the circumstances. The longer we give power to our circumstances the worse or circumstances become.
In his book, "Above Life's Turmoil", Allen writes, "You imagine your circumstances as being separate from yourself, but they are intimately related to your thought world. Nothing appears without an adequate cause."
To get control of our circumstances we must first acknowledge personal responsibility for being where we are. That was the hardest part for me because the "victim" in all of us doesn't want to take that responsibility.
When we take the responsibility we must then take control of our thoughts. And, yes, in the beginning that can be hard. It seems sometimes that it's our nature to first think negatively. But that's just because it's the habit we´ve developed. And like any habit, it can be changed by replacing it with the habit of thinking the right way.
One of my favorite teachers, Emmet Fox, writes: "You are not happy because you are well. You are well because you are happy. You are not depressed because trouble has come to you, but trouble has come because you were depressed. You can change your thoughts and feelings, and then the outer things will change to correspond, and indeed there is no other way of working."
And that´s worth thinking about.Vic Johnson
Contentment, Courage and Creativity
CONTENTMENT
"Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known." -- Garrison Keillor
"You can't have everything... where would you put it?" -- Stephen Wright
"I am a big believer in the 'mirror test'. All that matters is if you can look in the mirror and honestly tell the person you see there, that you've done your best." -- John McKay
"When we have done our best, we should wait the result in peace." -- J. Lubbock
COURAGE
"Fear is the opportunity for courage, not proof of cowardice." -- John McCain
"Pain nourishes courage. You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you." -- Mary Tyler Moore
"Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared." -- Eddie Rickenbacker
"To keep our faces toward change, and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate, is strength undefeated." -- Helen Keller
CREATIVITY
"No matter how old you get, if you can keep the desire to be creative, you're keeping the man-child alive." -- John Cassavetes
When we tire of well-worn ways, we seek for new. This restless craving in the souls of men spurs them to climb, and to seek the mountain view. -- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
"While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die whether it is our spirit, our creativity or our glorious uniqueness." -- Gilda Radner
"Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous mind." -- Samuel Jo
"Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known." -- Garrison Keillor
"You can't have everything... where would you put it?" -- Stephen Wright
"I am a big believer in the 'mirror test'. All that matters is if you can look in the mirror and honestly tell the person you see there, that you've done your best." -- John McKay
"When we have done our best, we should wait the result in peace." -- J. Lubbock
COURAGE
"Fear is the opportunity for courage, not proof of cowardice." -- John McCain
"Pain nourishes courage. You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you." -- Mary Tyler Moore
"Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared." -- Eddie Rickenbacker
"To keep our faces toward change, and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate, is strength undefeated." -- Helen Keller
CREATIVITY
"No matter how old you get, if you can keep the desire to be creative, you're keeping the man-child alive." -- John Cassavetes
When we tire of well-worn ways, we seek for new. This restless craving in the souls of men spurs them to climb, and to seek the mountain view. -- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
"While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die whether it is our spirit, our creativity or our glorious uniqueness." -- Gilda Radner
"Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous mind." -- Samuel Jo
The Final Analysis
The Final Analysis
People Are Often Unreasonable, Illogical and Self Centered,
Forgive Them Anyway.
If You Are Kind, People May Accuse You of Selfish Ulterior Motives,
Be Kind Anyway
If You Are Successful You Will Win Some False Friends and Some True Enemies,
Succeed Anyway
If You Are Honest and Frank, People May Cheat You,
Be Honest and Frank Anyway
What You Spend Years Building, Someone May Destroy Overnight,
Build Anyway
If You Find Serenity and Happiness, They May Be Jealous,
Be Happy Anyway
The Good You Do Today, People Will Often Forget Tomorrow,
Do Good Anyway
Give the World the Best You Have and It May Just Never Be Enough,
Give the World the Best You Have Anyway
You See, In the Final Analysis, Its All between You and God;
It Was Never Between You And Them Anyway.
Mother Theresa
People Are Often Unreasonable, Illogical and Self Centered,
Forgive Them Anyway.
If You Are Kind, People May Accuse You of Selfish Ulterior Motives,
Be Kind Anyway
If You Are Successful You Will Win Some False Friends and Some True Enemies,
Succeed Anyway
If You Are Honest and Frank, People May Cheat You,
Be Honest and Frank Anyway
What You Spend Years Building, Someone May Destroy Overnight,
Build Anyway
If You Find Serenity and Happiness, They May Be Jealous,
Be Happy Anyway
The Good You Do Today, People Will Often Forget Tomorrow,
Do Good Anyway
Give the World the Best You Have and It May Just Never Be Enough,
Give the World the Best You Have Anyway
You See, In the Final Analysis, Its All between You and God;
It Was Never Between You And Them Anyway.
Mother Theresa
How to sell to anyone
How To Sell To Anyone
By Kelley RobertsonLet’s face it. We all have those difficult customers to whom we are required to sell. From the demanding, abrasive buyer to the individual who never seems to make a buying decision, we encounter challenging people on a regular basis. Part of the reason this happens is due to the disconnect we have because of conflicting personalities. This article will look at the four key types of people and how to improve your results with each.Direct Donna. Donna is very direct in her approach. She tends to be forceful and always wants to dominate or control the sales call. Her behavior is aggressive, she points at you while she talks, interrupts your to challenge you, and she seldom cares about hearing the details of your new product or service. Instead, she demands that you “cut to chase” and “tell me the bottom line.” Donna is very results-focused and goal-oriented and hates wasting time.To achieve the best sales results with this individual you need to be more direct and assertive. Tell her at the beginning of the sales call or meeting that you know how busy she is and how valuable her time is. Tell her that you will “get right to the point” and focus your conversation on the results she will achieve by using you product or service. Resist the temptation to back down if she confronts you because you will lose her respect. To Donna, it is not personal, it’s just business.Lastly, be direct in asking for her business—you don’t have to dance around this issue.Talkative Tim. Tim is a gregarious and outgoing person but very ego-centric. He is often late for your meetings and his constant interruptions and long stories cause your sales calls to go beyond the scheduled time. He appears to be more concerned with listening to himself talk which is frustrating because you don’t always get enough time to discuss your solution.Relationships are very important to Talkative Tim so invest more time in social conversation. Even if you don’t see the point in this, he will appreciate the gesture and will like you more. This person often makes buying decisions on intuition and how he feels about the sales person.Be careful not to challenge Tim because he will feel rejected and when this happens he will “shut down” and become unresponsive. During your sales presentation, tell him how good your solution will make him look to others in the company or how his status or image will improve. In other words, appeal to his ego.Steady Eddie. Soft-spoken, Eddie is a “nice” fellow who seems more focused on his team and coworkers than on his personal results. He is very quiet compared to some of your other prospects and can be difficult to read. But most frustrating is his reluctance to make a buying decision. Eddie’s mantra seems to be “I’m still thinking about but thanks for following up.”Structure and security is important to these people and it is difficult for Eddie to make changes. He often contemplates how the decision will affect other people within the organization. That means you need to slow down the sales process, demonstrate how your solution will benefit the team, and remove as much risk from the decision-making process as possible. Soften your voice and make sure your sales presentation flows in a logical manner. Use words like “fair” “logical” and “your team” in your presentation.Analytical Alice. She reads every point and specification about your product or service and regardless of how much information you give Alice, she always wants more, including written guarantees and back up documentation. She is very difficult to read and it is extremely difficult to get her engaged in an open conversation because personal feelings and emotions do not enter the picture when Alice makes a decision.Whenever possible, give Alice a written, bullet-point agenda of your meeting—beforehand. Ideally, email it to her a few days in advance so she can prepare herself. Make sure it is completely free of typos, spelling mistakes and punctuation errors. When you meet, follow the agenda in perfect order and if you make any type of claim, have supporting documentation available for her to read.While the approach to use with each of these people may not make sense to you or seem completely rational, it is critical to recognize that how you naturally and instinctively sell may not be the best way to get results with someone else. Modifying your approach and style, even briefly, will help you better connect with your customers and prospects which means you will generate better sales.
By Kelley RobertsonLet’s face it. We all have those difficult customers to whom we are required to sell. From the demanding, abrasive buyer to the individual who never seems to make a buying decision, we encounter challenging people on a regular basis. Part of the reason this happens is due to the disconnect we have because of conflicting personalities. This article will look at the four key types of people and how to improve your results with each.Direct Donna. Donna is very direct in her approach. She tends to be forceful and always wants to dominate or control the sales call. Her behavior is aggressive, she points at you while she talks, interrupts your to challenge you, and she seldom cares about hearing the details of your new product or service. Instead, she demands that you “cut to chase” and “tell me the bottom line.” Donna is very results-focused and goal-oriented and hates wasting time.To achieve the best sales results with this individual you need to be more direct and assertive. Tell her at the beginning of the sales call or meeting that you know how busy she is and how valuable her time is. Tell her that you will “get right to the point” and focus your conversation on the results she will achieve by using you product or service. Resist the temptation to back down if she confronts you because you will lose her respect. To Donna, it is not personal, it’s just business.Lastly, be direct in asking for her business—you don’t have to dance around this issue.Talkative Tim. Tim is a gregarious and outgoing person but very ego-centric. He is often late for your meetings and his constant interruptions and long stories cause your sales calls to go beyond the scheduled time. He appears to be more concerned with listening to himself talk which is frustrating because you don’t always get enough time to discuss your solution.Relationships are very important to Talkative Tim so invest more time in social conversation. Even if you don’t see the point in this, he will appreciate the gesture and will like you more. This person often makes buying decisions on intuition and how he feels about the sales person.Be careful not to challenge Tim because he will feel rejected and when this happens he will “shut down” and become unresponsive. During your sales presentation, tell him how good your solution will make him look to others in the company or how his status or image will improve. In other words, appeal to his ego.Steady Eddie. Soft-spoken, Eddie is a “nice” fellow who seems more focused on his team and coworkers than on his personal results. He is very quiet compared to some of your other prospects and can be difficult to read. But most frustrating is his reluctance to make a buying decision. Eddie’s mantra seems to be “I’m still thinking about but thanks for following up.”Structure and security is important to these people and it is difficult for Eddie to make changes. He often contemplates how the decision will affect other people within the organization. That means you need to slow down the sales process, demonstrate how your solution will benefit the team, and remove as much risk from the decision-making process as possible. Soften your voice and make sure your sales presentation flows in a logical manner. Use words like “fair” “logical” and “your team” in your presentation.Analytical Alice. She reads every point and specification about your product or service and regardless of how much information you give Alice, she always wants more, including written guarantees and back up documentation. She is very difficult to read and it is extremely difficult to get her engaged in an open conversation because personal feelings and emotions do not enter the picture when Alice makes a decision.Whenever possible, give Alice a written, bullet-point agenda of your meeting—beforehand. Ideally, email it to her a few days in advance so she can prepare herself. Make sure it is completely free of typos, spelling mistakes and punctuation errors. When you meet, follow the agenda in perfect order and if you make any type of claim, have supporting documentation available for her to read.While the approach to use with each of these people may not make sense to you or seem completely rational, it is critical to recognize that how you naturally and instinctively sell may not be the best way to get results with someone else. Modifying your approach and style, even briefly, will help you better connect with your customers and prospects which means you will generate better sales.
Ending Procrastination
ENDING PROCRASTINATION
by Jim RohnPerseverance is about as important to achievement as gasoline is to driving a car. Sure, there will be times when you feel like you're spinning your wheels, but you'll always get out of the rut with genuine perseverance. Without it, you won't even be able to start your engine.The opposite of perseverance is procrastination. Perseverance means you never quit. Procrastination usually means you never get started, although the inability to finish something is also a form of procrastination.Ask people why they procrastinate and you'll often hear something like this: "I'm a perfectionist. Everything has to be just right before I can get down to work. No distractions, not too much noise, no telephone calls interrupting me, and of course I have to be feeling well physically, too. I can't work when I have a headache." The other end of procrastination - being unable to finish – also has a perfectionist explanation: "I'm just never satisfied. I'm my own harshest critic. If all the i's aren't dotted and all the t's aren't crossed, I just can't consider that I'm done. That's just the way I am, and I'll probably neverchange."Do you see what's going on here? A fault is being turned into a virtue. The perfectionist is saying that hisstandards are just too high for this world. This fault-into-virtue syndrome is a common defense when people are called upon to discuss their weaknesses, but in the end it's just a very pious kind of excuse making. It certainly doesn't have anything to do with what's really behind procrastination.Remember, the basis of procrastination could be fear of failure. That's what perfectionism really is, once you take a hard look at it. What's the difference whether you're afraid of being less than perfect or afraid of anything else? You're still paralyzed by fear. What's the difference whether you never start or never finish? You're still stuck. You're still going nowhere. You're still overwhelmed by whatever task is before you. You're still allowing yourself to be dominated by a negative vision of the future in which you see yourself being criticized, laughed at, punished, or ridden out of town on a rail. Of course, this negativevision of the future is really a mechanism that allows you to do nothing. It's a very convenient mental tool.I'm going to tell you how to overcome procrastination. I'm going to show you how to turn procrastination into perseverance, and if you do what I suggest, the process will be virtually painless. It involves using two very powerful principles that foster productivity and perseverance instead of passivity and procrastination.The first principle is: break it down.No matter what you're trying to accomplish, whether it's writing a book, climbing a mountain, or painting a house the key to achievement is your ability to break down the task into manageable pieces and knock them off one at one time. Focus on accomplishing what's right in front of you at this moment. Ignore what's off in the distance someplace. Substitute real-time positive thinking for negative future visualization. That's the first all- important technique for bringing an end to procrastination.Suppose I were to ask you if you could write a four hundred-page novel. If you're like most people, that would sound like an impossible task. But suppose I ask you a different question. Suppose I ask if you can write a page and a quarter a day for one year. Do you think you could do it? Now the task is starting to seem more manageable. We're breaking down the four-hundred-page book into bite-size pieces. Even so, I suspect many people would still find the prospect intimidating. Do you know why? Writing a page and aquarter may not seem so bad, but you're being asked to look ahead one whole year. When people start to do look that far ahead, many of them automatically go into a negative mode. So let me formulate the idea of writing a book in yet another way. Let me break it down even more.Suppose I was to ask you: can you fill up a page and a quarter with words-not for a year, not for a month, not even for a week, but just today? Don't look any further ahead than that. I believe most people would confidently declare that they could accomplish that. Of course, these would be the same people who feel totally incapable of writing a whole book.If I said the same thing to those people tomorrow - if I told them, I don't want you to look back, and I don't want you to look ahead, I just want you to fill up a page and a quarter this very day - do you think they could do it?One day at a time. We've all heard that phrase. That's what we're doing here. We're breaking down the time required for a major task into one-day segments, and we're breaking down the work involved in writing a four hundred-page book into page-and-a-quarter increments.Keep this up for one year, and you'll write the book. Discipline yourself to look neither forward nor backward, and you can accomplish things you never thought you could possibly do. And it all begins with those three words: break it down.My second technique for defeating procrastination is also only three words long. The three words are: write it down. We know how important writing is to goal setting. The writing you'll do for beating procrastination is very similar. Instead of focusing on the future, however, you're now going to be writing about the present just as you experience it every day. Instead of describing the things you want to do or the places you want to go, you're going to describe what you actually do with your time, and you're going to keep a written record of the places you actually go.In other words, you're going to keep a diary of your activities. And you're going to be amazed by thedistractions, detours, and downright wastes of time you engage in during the course of a day. All of these get in the way of achieving your goals. For many people, it's almost like they planned it that way, and maybe at some unconscious level they did. The great thing about keeping a time diary is that it brings all this out in the open. It forces you to see what you're actually doing . . . and what you're not doing.The time diary doesn't have to be anything elaborate. Just buy a little spiral notebook that you can easily carry in your pocket. When you go to lunch, when you drive across town, when you go to the dry cleaners, when you spend some time shooting the breeze at the copying machine, make a quick note of the time you began the activity and the time it ends. Try to make this notation as soon as possible; if it's inconvenient to do it immediately, you can do it later. But you should make an entry in your time diary at least once every thirty minutes, and you should keep this up for at least a week.Break it down. Write it down. These two techniques are very straightforward. But don't let that fool you: these are powerful and effective productivity techniques. This is how you put an end to procrastination. This is how you get yourself started.To Your Success,Jim Rohn
by Jim RohnPerseverance is about as important to achievement as gasoline is to driving a car. Sure, there will be times when you feel like you're spinning your wheels, but you'll always get out of the rut with genuine perseverance. Without it, you won't even be able to start your engine.The opposite of perseverance is procrastination. Perseverance means you never quit. Procrastination usually means you never get started, although the inability to finish something is also a form of procrastination.Ask people why they procrastinate and you'll often hear something like this: "I'm a perfectionist. Everything has to be just right before I can get down to work. No distractions, not too much noise, no telephone calls interrupting me, and of course I have to be feeling well physically, too. I can't work when I have a headache." The other end of procrastination - being unable to finish – also has a perfectionist explanation: "I'm just never satisfied. I'm my own harshest critic. If all the i's aren't dotted and all the t's aren't crossed, I just can't consider that I'm done. That's just the way I am, and I'll probably neverchange."Do you see what's going on here? A fault is being turned into a virtue. The perfectionist is saying that hisstandards are just too high for this world. This fault-into-virtue syndrome is a common defense when people are called upon to discuss their weaknesses, but in the end it's just a very pious kind of excuse making. It certainly doesn't have anything to do with what's really behind procrastination.Remember, the basis of procrastination could be fear of failure. That's what perfectionism really is, once you take a hard look at it. What's the difference whether you're afraid of being less than perfect or afraid of anything else? You're still paralyzed by fear. What's the difference whether you never start or never finish? You're still stuck. You're still going nowhere. You're still overwhelmed by whatever task is before you. You're still allowing yourself to be dominated by a negative vision of the future in which you see yourself being criticized, laughed at, punished, or ridden out of town on a rail. Of course, this negativevision of the future is really a mechanism that allows you to do nothing. It's a very convenient mental tool.I'm going to tell you how to overcome procrastination. I'm going to show you how to turn procrastination into perseverance, and if you do what I suggest, the process will be virtually painless. It involves using two very powerful principles that foster productivity and perseverance instead of passivity and procrastination.The first principle is: break it down.No matter what you're trying to accomplish, whether it's writing a book, climbing a mountain, or painting a house the key to achievement is your ability to break down the task into manageable pieces and knock them off one at one time. Focus on accomplishing what's right in front of you at this moment. Ignore what's off in the distance someplace. Substitute real-time positive thinking for negative future visualization. That's the first all- important technique for bringing an end to procrastination.Suppose I were to ask you if you could write a four hundred-page novel. If you're like most people, that would sound like an impossible task. But suppose I ask you a different question. Suppose I ask if you can write a page and a quarter a day for one year. Do you think you could do it? Now the task is starting to seem more manageable. We're breaking down the four-hundred-page book into bite-size pieces. Even so, I suspect many people would still find the prospect intimidating. Do you know why? Writing a page and aquarter may not seem so bad, but you're being asked to look ahead one whole year. When people start to do look that far ahead, many of them automatically go into a negative mode. So let me formulate the idea of writing a book in yet another way. Let me break it down even more.Suppose I was to ask you: can you fill up a page and a quarter with words-not for a year, not for a month, not even for a week, but just today? Don't look any further ahead than that. I believe most people would confidently declare that they could accomplish that. Of course, these would be the same people who feel totally incapable of writing a whole book.If I said the same thing to those people tomorrow - if I told them, I don't want you to look back, and I don't want you to look ahead, I just want you to fill up a page and a quarter this very day - do you think they could do it?One day at a time. We've all heard that phrase. That's what we're doing here. We're breaking down the time required for a major task into one-day segments, and we're breaking down the work involved in writing a four hundred-page book into page-and-a-quarter increments.Keep this up for one year, and you'll write the book. Discipline yourself to look neither forward nor backward, and you can accomplish things you never thought you could possibly do. And it all begins with those three words: break it down.My second technique for defeating procrastination is also only three words long. The three words are: write it down. We know how important writing is to goal setting. The writing you'll do for beating procrastination is very similar. Instead of focusing on the future, however, you're now going to be writing about the present just as you experience it every day. Instead of describing the things you want to do or the places you want to go, you're going to describe what you actually do with your time, and you're going to keep a written record of the places you actually go.In other words, you're going to keep a diary of your activities. And you're going to be amazed by thedistractions, detours, and downright wastes of time you engage in during the course of a day. All of these get in the way of achieving your goals. For many people, it's almost like they planned it that way, and maybe at some unconscious level they did. The great thing about keeping a time diary is that it brings all this out in the open. It forces you to see what you're actually doing . . . and what you're not doing.The time diary doesn't have to be anything elaborate. Just buy a little spiral notebook that you can easily carry in your pocket. When you go to lunch, when you drive across town, when you go to the dry cleaners, when you spend some time shooting the breeze at the copying machine, make a quick note of the time you began the activity and the time it ends. Try to make this notation as soon as possible; if it's inconvenient to do it immediately, you can do it later. But you should make an entry in your time diary at least once every thirty minutes, and you should keep this up for at least a week.Break it down. Write it down. These two techniques are very straightforward. But don't let that fool you: these are powerful and effective productivity techniques. This is how you put an end to procrastination. This is how you get yourself started.To Your Success,Jim Rohn
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
